Marked This Day

On this day in 1952, the 1st commercial for a toy aired on television. It was for Mr. Potato Head by HASBRO. At this point, Mr. Potato Head was actually just plastic parts that kids could plug into actual potatoes. Or other vegetables should they so choose. But let’s be honest here, most people were using potatoes. Because it’s just one more feather in the cap of the awesomeness that is the potato. The MacGyver of vegetables--I’m pretty sure MacGyver actually built a clock out of potatoes. So there’s that. Although, I do have to say, letting a potato rot to put some silly plastic parts into it is close to criminal. MacGyver wouldn’t let you get away with that. Turn that bad boy into a loaded baked potato. Or french fries. Or potato salad. Or tater tots. Or hashbrowns. Or freaking vodka. Or a battery if you’re freaking MacGyver. HASBRO switched to a plastic body in 1964, because apparently parents were complaining about rotten food. But come on. They were just pissed their kids were was...

On this day in 1852, the first edition of Roget’s Thesaurus was published nearly 50 years after Peter Mark Roget originally penned the manuscript. That’s quite a long time to wait for a book to be published, but I’m willing to bet that he was jubilant (exultant, exuberant, elated) at seeing his hard work finally come to fruition (materialization, completion, fulfillment). I don’t know too much about Roget’s life, but there have been a few books written about him--apparently he had a proclivity (inclination, penchant, predilection) for lists. But being that I didn’t feel it quite necessary (essential, paramount, crucial) to know every intricate (complex, complicated, elaborate) detail of Mr. Roget in order to inform of his achievement (accomplishment, creation, feat) on this day, I did not read them. That is not to say the I don’t utterly admire (applaud, extol, appreciate) Roget and appreciate (admire, acknowledge, enjoy) his work. Because I certainly do. I am merely (only, purely, sim...

On this day in 1789, there was mutiny in the air. It was the day that Fletcher Christian and 25 other petty officers aboard the HMS Bounty got fed up with Captain William Bligh and set him and those loyal to him adrift in a small boat in the middle of the Pacific ocean. Stories have three sides--yours, mine, and the truth. And the truth is usually unknown. In this case I’d be willing to bet that all sides are fascinating. By most accounts Bligh was an overbearing critical asshat who condescended to his men constantly--basically he was the Bud Kilmer of sailing. Bligh was the victim of three mutinies in his career. I mean after the second time you realize your men hate you enough to commit treason, you probably need to rethink how you do things. Of course some of this may have a bit to do with the fact that Bligh was an excellent sailor. So much so that he was able to navigate that small boat to safe harbor instead of succumb to the death sentence it looked like. But you have to be a p...

On this day in 1986, Captain Midnight interrupted the HBO broadcast of The Falcon and the Snowman to display a text message complaining about the station’s monthly fee of $12.95 to unscramble their recently scrambled signal preventing dish owners from intercepting it. Captain Midnight, who went by the given name of John R. MacDougall, did not appreciate this development, and instead of sitting around and just taking it like a schoolyard bully’s prey, he decided to demonstrate his disapproval by hijacking a satellite signal. Unfortunately for Captain Midnight, it is illegal to interrupt a government-licensed satellite broadcast. Like really illegal. Like $100,000-fine-and-10-years-in-prison illegal. It took a while, but eventually MacDougall was outed as Captain Midnight and charges were pressed. He pled down to one year probation and a $5,000 fine. Still, that’s a bit more than $13 a month. And there is the whole other side of things. HBO’s side. You know that they were tired of peopl...

On this day in 1908, Jacob Murdock packed his family into a Packard and left Los Angeles for New York, beginning the longest transcontinental trip in the U.S. by automobile. The Murdocks reached New York 32 days later. A long trip for sure, but there were no interstates or highways in 1908. So except for pit stops and respites (7 non driving days), the Murdock family was in a car for 32 days. Twas a family of five consisting of Mr. and Mrs. Murdock, two daughters and a son. They also brought along a friend (for a portion of the trip) and a mechanic just to round things out. That’s a heck of a lot of time for seven people to be in a car together. And it wasn’t like any of them could just turn on her iPod and tune the others out. Car radios wouldn’t come out for another 14 years, which is probably how long that trip felt. I’m all for road trips. The excitement of heading somewhere out of your normal routine can be invigorating, but 32 days of invigoration? I don’t think so. It’s like goi...

VIDEO NSFW On this day last year, Facebook announced it’s 1st Quarter Results for 2014. Revenue for the company was 2.5 billion dollars. Profit was 624 million dollars. Poke me! That is a lot of dollars. Like personal-ball-washer dollars. But aside from being able to spend money on such frivolities, it amazes me how pervasive Facebook has become in our society. I remember creating a profile months after it had started. I was a sophomore in college and thought the whole thing was pretty silly. Online profile? Virtual friends? Poke? But you never know what is going to hit and stick. Look at the snuggie. But now Facebook is bigger than leg warmers were in the 80’s. Bigger than The Beatles in the 60’s or Vanilla Ice was for that year in the 90’s. Bigger than Scrooge McDuck’s bank vault or Shaquille O’ Neal’s shoes. So it’s pretty big. Poke. Though the physical comparisons are probably off base because Facebook is virtually big, not physically big. If Facebook were a character in Nintendo’s...

On this day in 1886, seduction became illegal in Ohio. The law pertained to men over the age of 18 who worked as teachers of women, and made sex, even consensual, off-limits. Punishment was 2 to 10 in prison. Other states also made seducing illegal, but these laws were more concerned with preserving the chastity of virginal women. Basically it was illegal for a man to promise marriage in order to go where no man had gone before him. Sometimes the promise ended up being kept because when threatened with jail time, even the most notorious of bachelors would consider settling down. I believe it was around the time these laws came out that Lotharios subtly changed their approach, and the first man uttered, “I love you,” in order to speed up the tempo to the horizontal mambo. Then he ignored her letters and acted as if he barely knew her when they happened to run into each other at the farmer’s market. Because men are pigs. But these days, I think women also need be reminded about seduction...

On this day in 753 B.C. Rome was founded. At least according to legend. You should notice that I didn’t say it was built on this day, because Rome wasn’t built in a day. It probably wasn’t built in two days either. I’m guessing there is a good chance that Romulus and Remus weren’t actually suckled by a she-wolf either. But hey, print the legend, right? It does makes me wonder about the documents that actually survived from ancient times. I mean think about this little hypothetical situation from the future. Let’s say our current civilization bites it in the future. Global warming, zombie apocalypse, sharknadoes. Whatever. We’re all wiped out and plummeted into another dark age that lasts a thousand years or so. Until some kid in 4534 discovers a huge find. iPhones were long destroyed. Facebook and the interwebs no more. But a stack of Superman comic books are discovered. Scholars start to study, linguistics experts are consulted, philosophers theorize. And pretty soon future human race...

VIDEO NSFW On this day in 1841, Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” was published becoming the first detective story to be printed. Sherlock Holmes wasn’t dreamed into being until 1887, making Poe’s detective Monsieur C. Auguste Dupin his predecessor by 46 years. Not that being older or getting there first is a prerequisite for greatness. But it should be noted and respected. Like respect for your elders. You shouldn’t just blindly believe that someone older than you has more wisdom or is smarter or has all the answers. Experiences differ between human beings, and no two people experience the same thing in the same way. Like you shouldn’t go ask a 100-year-old monk for marital advice. But it does stand to reason that a person who has lived for longer will have accumulated more experiences and just may have some pearls that could prove useful to a more inexperienced tadpole. That monk might be able to teach you how to listen to what your significant other is really saying ...

This day in 1983 marked the start of the 1st National Coin Week in the United States. Ronald Reagan set aside the third week in April as an exciting time for all numismatists. I’m sure there are some out there. I’ve never met any, but I’m not sure how secretive numismatists are. They might keep that little hobby close to the vest. I really only thought they existed in order to separate the wheat from the chaff of middle school vocabulary warriors. If you think about it though, it’s not a bad hobby to have. Collecting money. We are all numismatists in that sense. It makes more sense than say, deltiology--the collecting of postcards. But that would probably be pretty fun assuming you travelled to different places to get the postcards. I don’t really get philately--stamps, but that’s because snail-mail annoys me. It's called email, people. No stamps needed. Funambulism is still tops for me. But then that’s not really a hobby. It’s a calling. You can’t just take up walking the tightrop...

(VIDEO NSFW) On this day in 1943, Albert Hoffman accidentally ingested the pharmaceutical compound he was working on for medical purposes. Normally not a big deal, right? Except this compound happened to be LSD. So Dr. Hoffman had to take a little break and head home because, you know, he was tripping balls. He explained in his journal that he hallucinated and saw some crazy, colorful stuff. Then, of course, he took it again to make sure that it was the LSD that caused all the wacky stuff, and he wasn’t just losing his mind. And that was the beginning of LSD. Then 1960’s happened. Timothy Leary, Ken Kesey, Jerry Garcia and probably a buttload of regular people who weren’t famous but just wanted to “expand their mind, man” began singing the praises of LSD. A whole bunch of people took a bunch of LSD and were all about Free Love and questioning the establishment. I’m not sure that Dr. Hoffman wanted his legacy to be the guy who accidentally discovered how to make Alice in Wonderland com...

April 15th has not been a historically happy day. The Titanic sunk on this day. Lincoln died. And just two years ago was the bombing of the Boston Marathon. But this day in 2011 shone bright like a diamond of glorious hope. Japanese and Australians scientists performed a Schrödinger's Cat experiment and were able to successfully theoretically teleport using light on the “cat.” I’m not going to bombard you with scientific jargon and explanations of what Schrodinger’s Cat experiment is, or how these scientists theoretically completed it. Mainly because it would make my head hurt, but more-so because I’m totally pumped that teleportation, even if only theoretically, has been proven. Do you realize how awesome teleportation would be? It made me like the movie Jumper , and that had the kid who almost ruined Darth Vader in it. But being able to just boom--teleport? Tubular. Think about it this way. You are in your bed late one night and realize that your tummy isn’t quite full. You want ...

On this day in 1902, James Cash Penney, Jr. opened a dry goods store in Kemmerer, WY. with two partners, in the precursor to what would eventually become J.C. Penney’s department stores. I am by no means a proponent of shopping. In fact, if I am at the mall for over an hour I start playing the plot to Ferris Bueller's Day Off in my head in an effort to escape the misery. Because that is a great escapist movie. Dude led all of Chicago in “Twist and Shout.” I don’t blame J.C. for my malady. Man was just doing his thing. And it’s not like I have any ill-will toward J.C. Penney’s specifically. It’s nice enough as far as department stores go. I don’t like places that are too nice anyway. Kind of like people. When people are too nice, I don’t trust them. I feel they got some secret ulterior motive. I'm not saying they are set on world domination, but if someone is smiling for over 90% of the time in which you deal with him/her, they are hiding something. It might be something as sma...

On this day in 1981, Janet Cooke won a Pulitzer for her shocking story, “Jimmy’s World” featuring an eight year-old boy who had been addicted to heroin since he was five years old. It was a probing look into the increasing drug world of Washington and how destructive it could be. There was only one problem. Jimmy was cousins with Harvey the Rabbit (a character from a Pulitzer Prize winning play). He didn’t exist. Cooke had heard stories of kids hooked on heroin, but never actually found one, so she simply invented him. The story ran late September of 1980, and Janet kept up the charade until the award forced her to admit that she was full of it. Not heroin--lies. Probably an awkward conversation though. I’ve never understood the need for reporters to dupe people. It’s like they’ve never read a book in their life. The issue is not in the fabrication, it’s in the deception of trying to pass it off as truth. I believe I’ve stated this before, but I’m a firm believer that fiction often pro...

You ever think about simple inventions and the inventors that became millionaires off of them by creating a little thing that made life just a little bit easier. Like the person who created the plastic doohickey that goes on the end of shoelaces? Or even something purely aesthetic like the person who made the little umbrella to garnish fruity drinks. That’s the way to do it, right? Invent this simple little thing and reap the benefits. None of the drama of creating Facebook or the arms race of the computer world. But things don’t always work out that way. Take Walter Hunt as an example. On this day in 1849, Walter patented the safety-pin. Simple enough invention, but a completely brilliant and useful one. I’m not quite sure why, but then I’m not much of a seamstress. The problem was that Walter, like me, failed to realize just how useful. He sold the pin for $400 hundred dollars. That is close to $11K today, but W.R. Grace and Company made millions off that little tiny pin, leaving Wal...

On this day in 1979, the longest doubles table tennis match in the history of human existence began in Sacramento, California. The match ended on April 13 and lasted 101 hours 1 minute and 11 seconds. 101 hours! That’s a long ass time to be hitting a tiny ping-pong ball. It a long ass time to be doing anything really. Alright, not anything. Being married for only 101 hours won’t win you any longevity awards. But it will beat Britney Spears’ first marriage. It’s not a particular long career in the Majors, but hell, Moonlight Graham only got a single game. You could fit 4 or 5 games into an 101 hr span. But for the most part, an activity lasting 101 hours is a long ass event. Ping-pong can be riveting and all, especially when the players meat out, but I would think things might get a little monotonous after like the first five hours. Ping. Pong. Ping. Pong. Ping. Pong. Pong. Ping. I’m putting myself to sleep just thinking about it. Sleeping for 101 hours would be nice. Nicer than playing...

On this day in 1994, Nirvana lead singer, Kurt Cobain, was found dead in his home outside Seattle, Washington. Injection marks in his arms, a 20-gauge between his knees, and a fatal wound to his head. Normally, I would stay away from such a heavy event, but he’s been on my mind recently. Maybe it’s the new documentary coming out about him, or the fact that I recently re-discovered Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged album, or friends discussing him on Facebook, or the deep YouTube dive I did into the Teen React YouTube channel, which incidentally completely fascinated me and also made me feel decidedly ancient, in which today’s teens talked about Nirvana: Now, if you didn’t get sucked in by that black hole of YouTube specialness, I shall continue. There are far better authorities on Kurt Cobain and Nirvana than me, and though I certainly appreciated his music and artistry, I was never the biggest Nirvana fan. So I won’t add my uninformed two cents about musical influence and legacy and all that st...

On this day in 1981, Wim Klein extracted the 13th root of a 100 + digit in a record 1 minute and 28.8 seconds. I don’t even know what that means beside the facts that Wim Klein had an awesome name and was basically Charlie Babbitt minus the autism. The dude was a human calculator. Very impressive little skill to have. At the very least it would make tipping at restaurants a cinch to figure out. Splitting up the bill too. Put your phone calculators away ladies and gentlemen, Wim has got this on lock. I bet Wim would just laugh when teachers told him he could use a TI-86 for the math section--if there had been TI-86s when Wim was a school boy. Truthfully, I’m not sure that it is the most useful skill in the world, and being an English major and allergic to prolonged contact with numbers I can’t do the extensive research into the subject that I would usually do without my head throbbing in pain. If Wim’s talent extended beyond just calculations to theoretical means, like good Will Hunting...

On this day in 1896, the 1st Modern Olympic Games opened in Athens, Greece, and James Connolly of the United States became the first Olympic champion of modern times when he won the triple jump and received a silver medal and an olive branch. Yes he won and got silver. Gold Medals weren’t given in the first games. Pretty cool that the first Olympic champion was American. If you’re American. If you’re Russian or British or Greek or German or anything else really, it might chap you a bit. But let’s also take a moment to applaud the choice of bringing the Olympic games back. Promoting competitive spirit and international camaraderie are check pluses in my book. Especially when you consider that the two major ancient civilizations are the Greeks and the Romans. They both had particular ideas when it came to sport and entertainment. The Greeks were all like let’s compete in feats of strength and skill. Races, boxing, wrestling. But the Romans? They were like let us take our slaves and crimi...

On this day last year, David Letterman announced his pending retirement from his late show duties on CBS, saying he would hang it up sometime in 2015. Oddly enough, he announced this on the same day that NBC announced plans to move on from Jay Leno just a year earlier. I wonder if that was on purpose? I’m not insinuating anything, I just found it a little strange that it happened on the same date. Perhaps it was just a coincidence. But it seemed more like one of those things that you would say was a coincidence when it was really a highly strategic and planned move. Like when you “coincidentally” bump into your crush at the coffee shop after seeing an updated status appear on your Facebook Newsfeed announcing something to the effect of “Hey People of the Interwebs, I am at Such and Such Coffee Shop working on This Really Important Thing because I am a person of High Character and Tremendous Work Ethic.” Or, you know, that he/she wants a coffee. Anywho, you play it off all nonchalant li...

On this day in 1931, Jackie Mitchell struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in an exhibition game. While there were some reports that this may have been more publicity stunt than pure competition, and possibly even a late April Fool’s joke, it is still a hell of an accomplishment. You’re talking about two of the best hitters in the history of baseball getting mowed down by a 17-year-old girl. That’s right. 17. However, I am concerned at how this colors two of my favorite baseball movies. The first being The Natural . A young Roy Hobbs strikes out the Babe in an impromptu challenge outside a country fair. And you’re all like whoa! But that pales in comparison to 17-year-old Jackie striking out Ruth. And then doing it to Lou. On an actual baseball diamond. The second movie being the seminal classic The Sandlot , specifically the scene in which Ham Porter insults the little rich dick leader of the little rich dick little league team that he “plays ball like a girl.” Now, the political incorr...

On this day in 1700, the popularization of April Fool’s jokes occurred when Sir Isaac Newton successfully tricked contemporaries into believing that his discovery of gravity was handed down to him by an alien life-form who beamed the information to Newton via airwaves back in 1687. Newton expounded that he had made up a cute little story about the apple plopping him on the head because the alien had wished to remain anonymous. Many scientists of the era found this new information completely plausible, mostly because they were all extremely jealous of his life-changing discovery and were more than willing to accept that he wasn’t solely responsible. Of course when they found out he was just joshing around, people were a bit miffed. But, as to not seem bad sports and sore losers, they didn’t make a big stink. The story gets even more interesting if you believe tales that L. Ron Hubbard discovered reports of this story that had been written before Isaac had informed everyone they were a b...