Marked This Day

On this day in 1971, the UCLA Men’s Basketball Team coached by legend, John Wooden, beat UC Santa Barbara 74 - 61. Nothing too amazing about that accomplishment, as UCLA was a perennial powerhouse and was coming off a loss at Notre Dame. So beating UC Santa Barbara was not anything to shake your bon-bon about. Their next game was fairly impressive as they beat the 2nd USC squad by four points. The game after that they squeaked out a win against Oregon by a point. Then they beat Oregon State twice and Oregon again. Then Washington State and Washington and Cal and Stanford. That’s ten in a row. Impressive, but still nothing to get all la vida loca over. Except that wasn’t the end. The UCLA Bruins had 8 10 game winning streaks in a row, and then another 8 games for good measure. 88 games without a loss. That’s unbelievable. Like Ricky Martin winning the role of Tupac Shakur in a biopic unbelievable. They eventually lost, to Notre Dame again, in 1974 to end the most incredible streak until

NSFW On this day in 1920, Walt Disney applied for a job with Kansas City Slide Company, a job he took to draw cartoons and animation for 40 dollars a week. Even the mighty Walt Disney had to start small. The job proved a vital introduction into animation and film production that would later help Disney become Disney . It’s hard to remember that very rarely do things just poof, happen overnight. The lottery perhaps. But then how many stories have you heard about people completely ruining their lives after winning the lotto? Again, I would love the chance to disprove this theory, but for the most part, success in anything comes slowly and with a lot of hard work. It’s easier now than ever before to forget that. Everything is so instantaneous. We get frustrated if it takes longer than 2 seconds for a website to load. But no matter how quickly we can find out vital information like knowing Miley Cyrus twerked a giant teddy bear or Justin Bieber peed in a fast food mop bucket or how quickly

On this day, also in 1984, a then-record 295,000 dominoes were toppled in Furth, West Germany. The present record is over 4 million dominoes, but I doubt those dominoes could claim the cultural significance that could be attributed to the West German dominoes. Do you think it a coincidence that the Berlin Wall fell a mere five years after those 295,000 dominoes showed that things could be toppled in Germany? You probably also think it a mere coincidence that Clark Kent and Superman are never seen standing next to each other. Or that the Cold War started to thaw after Rocky IV came out. Maybe you think that the Curse of the Bambino was merely a string of really bad luck. Perhaps you think that OJ Simpson simply took the Bronco for a joyride at a most inopportune time. Or that Arnold Schwarzenegger made it in Hollywood because of his mastery of the English language. Or maybe, just maybe, one thing, seemingly unrelated, can actually cause a different thing. Maybe it’s chance. Maybe it’s

On this day in 1984, The King of Pop, Michael Jackson’s hair caught on fire while filming a Pepsi commercial. Jackson was probably the biggest star in the world at the time, but that didn’t make his hair fireproof. The burns may have been more severe than people thought too, as it is thought that MJ got addicted to pain meds at this time, and it was revealed after his death that he wore a wig because much of his scalp was burned and his hair would not grow. It’s crazy how life can turn in the blink of an eye like. I’m not saying that the burning hair incident is solely responsible for making Michael into the very strange star he turned into, but it very well may have started him on the path to messing with his appearance. You ever see that picture Ebony Magazine produced in the 80’s of what MJ would look like in his 50’s? They were way off, as you may imagine. You just never know when a pyro tech is gonna push the button a little too soon, and poof goes your hair. So to speak. Doesn’t

On this day in 1960, Danny Heater from West Virginia set the record for the most points ever scored in a basketball game. 135. That record held until 2012 when Jack Taylor, a Division III player scored 138. Heater’s record still holds for high school though, and likely will for a long time, because 135 points in one game (before three pointers mind you) is absurd. Like the body count in Cobra absurd. Or Stallone's matchstick in his mouth for an hour and a half absurd. Or Brigitte Nielsen absurd. That whole movie is absurd. Of course it was also absurd that Heater was 53 of 70 from the field, 29 of 41 from the stripe, grabbed 32 rebounds, and had 7 assists. Burnsville won 173 - 43, meaning some selfish players scored points instead of giving the ball to Heater. Jerks. Some people have to have all the glory. Like Cobra. And surely Heater got recognition for his feat, which like Cobra is absurd, but you can’t tell me you’re not just slightly disappointed that he didn’t break a pitchi

This night in 1990 was the 17th American Music Awards. Winners included such legendary acts as Bobby Brown, New Kids on the Block, Paula Abdul, Guns N’ Roses, and MC Hammer. Now that is a cornucopia of talent. Who would have thought that NKOTB would be the one group still “Hangin’ Tough.” Ahahahahah. Of course the real reason this particular show was of note, beside the incredible musical talent and fashion choices each of those artists displayed, was the artist that won favorite pop/rock new artist. A little group named Milli Vanilli. A German duo that blazed through the airwaves with amazing dreadlocked hair, spandexed tights, dance moves, and vocal ability. Except that vocal ability wasn’t actually theirs. That ability belonged to Brad Howell, John Davis, Jodie Rocco, Linda Rocco, and Charles Shaw. But for whatever reason Rob and Fab were held up as the singers of the group, even though they weren’t the ones singing, and they barely spoke English. And people ate it up. Because “Girl

On this day in 1994, Lorena Bobbitt was found not guilty by reason of insanity for slicing off John Wayne’s penis and throwing it in some underbrush on the side of the road. I was only 11 at the time so the intricacies of the case (John Wayne’s abuse) were lost on me. I only knew that some guy had his kibble cut from his bits. And before I forget can we talk about how naming your kid after the Duke has been forever ruined? First, there was John Wayne Gacy. Serial killer with same name as one of the biggest movie stars of all time--pretty sure the name John Wayne took a hit. But the Duke was the Duke. Rooster Freaking Cogburn. People still named their kids after him. But then you get John Wayne Bobbitt, an abusive husband who had his member dismembered, thrown in a bush, and then reattached in a 9hr surgery. You name your kid ‘John Wayne’ now, you’re a nutball. Which is basically what they said Lorena temporarily was when she sliced JW’s lug from his nuts. I’m not going to badmouth Lore

On this day in 1949, J. Edgar Hoover gave Shirley Temple a fountain pen. That in and of itself would be weird--head of the FBI and the most famous child actor of the time (possibly ever), not exactly a garden variety friendship. But just to ratchet up the weirdness, that fountain pen emitted tear gas if activated. Weirdness, though, usually has some underlying reasoning behind it. That kid in grammar school who ate his/her own boogers may have inherently believed the study that says eating one’s own boogies can lead to a stronger immune system. Or maybe he/she was just a weird little booger eater. But in the case of Shirley and the G-men leader, Shirley had been dealing with kidnapping threats and sleazy Hollywood producers throughout most of her life, and the FBI had been called in multiple times giving the two an opportunity to strike up the unlikely friendship. Shirley was also around 21 when J. Edgar gave her that special little pen so it wasn’t like he was giving a weapon to a sma

Keeping with the theme of Heavyweight Champions in 1981, but moving on to a bit more uplifting news, on this day in 1981 Muhammad Ali talked a 21 year-old man off the ledge. Not a metaphorical ledge. An actual ledge. I dare call it a literal ledge because it has alliteration, and I love me any astounding alliteration, but using the word “literal,” even when accurately describing a situation, scares me because people use “literal” way too much. The cop specialists were talking to this guy for over an hour. Nothing. Still on that ledge. Then Ali rolls in and climbs out to the next window and eventually gets the guy inside. That’s pretty damn impressive. Certainly a better day than poor Leon had a few days prior when he bonked on the head and had his gold teeth stolen. You normally can’t equate how successful an athlete is in his given sport with his accomplishments or merit as man outside of that sport. OJ Simpson comes to mind. Of course Ali was a cultural icon and perhaps the greatest

On this day in 1981--(though for logistical accuracy it may have happened on the 15th, but it was reported on the 16th), Leon Spinks was mugged and robbed outside a bar in Detroit. He was popped on the head and knocked unconscious, waking up naked in a hotel room at 1pm the next evening. The assailants made off with about $45K worth of clothes, jewelry, and whatever else a former Heavyweight Champion of the world wears out for a night on the town in Detroit, including his very gold and very removable two front teeth. Heavyweight Champs are people, and a bonk on the head can knock any person out. No one will ever say that Leon Spinks was one of the greatest Heavyweight Champs of all time, but he was still a Heavyweight Champ. He beat Ali. A severely washed up Ali. But still. He was a bad enough man that he could wear a blue fox coat out. Or at least he thought he was bad enough to wear a blue fox coat. The guys that jumped him apparently didn’t think so. They could have left the dude hi

On this day in 1797, John Hetherington wore a top hat. Today, I wore a New Orleans Pelicans hat. The difference is that I was not the 1st person to ever wear a New Orleans Pelicans hat, and my wearing that hat did not cause a riot. Although the story is saturated in skepticism and mired with legend, apparently Haberdasher Homeboy Hetherington (Triple H) walked out in public wearing his top hat, and a riot broke out. Babies cried. Women screamed. Panic ensued. For all I know maybe Triple H just scared a newspaper man who exaggerated the story a wee bit. But if not, if there is even a morsel of truth to the tale, Kanye has gotta be pissed. Has Mr. Yeezus ever caused a riot wearing any of his ridiculous outfits? I think not. And he is the Steve Jobs of fashion. It’s not like his style is avant-garde, or even trendsetting, and while he very well could be a musical genius, when he opens his mouth, my head hurts. The egotistical garbage is too much. His biggest regret is that he will never b

On this day in 1914, Henry Ford introduced the assembly line for the Model T, dropping the time of construction from 14 hours down to 93 minutes. That’s a pretty big decrease in time. Over 12 hours. And there is no more precious gift than the gift of time. It’s why I don’t waste my time pronouncing the “h” on words like “human.” That half a second builds up. Eventually, while you’re still telling that story about your acid-tripping college anthropology teacher who had a wacky idea that humans evolved from birds, I’ve already finished telling that story and am currently enjoying some cookie-dough ice cream because I had extra time to run to 31 Flavors. Of course, the assembly line also cut down on the price of the automobile. More cars=cheaper cars. I think. I was never very good at economics. I slept through most of the classes in college. The instructor wasn’t an acid-tripper and was rather boring, but mainly, I never had enough time to sleep. If someone had invented an assembly line

On this day in 1985, 99 year-old Otto Bucher made a hole-in-one on the 130 yd 12th hole of the La Manga Golf Club in Spain. The record has since been broken, and I believe it is currently held by an 103 year-old American male. But Otto’s record stood for 16 years, so I’m assuming he died while still holding it. Unless he lived until he was 115 years old, which is not out of the realm of possibility, but highly unlikely. I mean Methuselah lived to be 969. And that was back when medicine couldn’t effectively counteract any type of infection. You cut yourself on a branch collecting berries for the family? Sorry buddy, but you’re probably going to die. You ever think that maybe Methuselah just lived to be like 50, thus outliving everyone who knew how old he really was by 20 years, and just started telling people he was 960-something years-old? I mean who could have refuted him? But biblical interpretations aside, a hole-in-one at 99 is pretty darn impressive. Thomas Jefferson probably wou

This day in 1971 was the premiere of one of the greatest TV shows in American history, All in the Family . The show wasted no time in confronting taboos. Having the main character, Archie Bunker--played superbly by Carroll O’Connor--be a working class bigot is a construction that would never work today, but it allowed the show to tackle a variety of important issues such as racism, women’s lib, and homosexuality. Those are all important issues and they were handled with humor on the show. But All in the Family also made television history by becoming the first show to flush a toilet on air. That may seem of little import, but that 1st toilet flush set the tone. Made the Bunkers more real. The Beverly Hillbillies were Hillbillies but they struck it rich and moved to Beverly Hills. They quit flushing toilets. But you know who flushes toilets? Everyone. Because everyone poops. Desi and Lucy pooped. Dick Van Dyke pooped. Jerry Seinfeld pooped. All the Friends pooped. Everyone poops. They

On this day in 1998, the decapitated head of The Little Mermaid was returned. Calm down, I’m not saying that mermaids exist, and I’m definitely not saying that some twisted, hallucinating sailor decapitated a manatee. I’m talking about the famous statue in Copenhagen. The Radical Feminist Fraction took credit for the vandalism saying they were trying to demonstrate a symbol of the misogynist’s perfect woman--one without a head. Authorities were never able to substantiate that claim though. I hope they weren’t responsible. I mean I get that they had “radical” in their name, but decapitating Ariel is a little much. Taking credit for it after the fact to affect change? Okay, I see what you’re doing there. Still think a bag over the head could have gotten the same point across, but I guess it isn’t quite as emphatic. Poor Ariel has had a tough life though. She’s been decapitated twice. Had an arm lopped off. If Disney had made the story of the statue, millions of little kids would be scarr

On this day in 1992, George H. W. Bush puked on the Japanese Prime Minister. I’m tempted to just leave it there. I would have loved if the broadcast of it had been so cryptic and short. “Breaking News--President Bush barfed on the Japanese Prime Minister. Now back to Seinfeld.” How great would that have been? People would have been like what the hell? It would have been like the ending of The Sopranos , which I know pissed a lot of you off, but which I have come to appreciate as one the best endings to a show ever (and it also kind of pissed me off). But being that this did type of coverage of the Japan Puke did not actually happen and all of you diligent readers would just look up the reasoning behind said puking, I’ll give the real story. Someone dosed G.H.W. with PCP. I’m kidding. He had bad sushi and got nauseous. And of course the comedians caught wind of this and had a field day (SNL skit). One self-proclaimed jokester decided to play a prank on the nation and called CNN posing a

On this day in 1964, Operation AstroBowl occurred. The world held its breath as Dick Weber participated in a promotion with American Airlines to make him the proud owner of the record for bowling a game at the highest altitude on an all-cargo Boeing 707 in which a single bowling lane had been installed. Okay they probably didn’t hold their breath. They were probably more concerned with trying to see the Rolling Stones whom had embarked on their first headlining tour just the day before. I haven’t been able to find a score for Weber’s game, and I’m not sure if bowling in a plane is an advantage or a disadvantage. A little turbulence could really mess up your delivery, but a soft bank may make a 7/10 split easier than Billy Madison passing Miss Lippy’s class. Bowling has to be one of the only sports that could possibly happen on a 707. You can pretty much rule out any team sports. Baseball would be a logistical nightmare. You could possibly do ping-pong. Though I’m not sure you could do

On this day in 1681, Christopher Monck, the 2nd Duke of Albemarle, organized the first recorded boxing match. He got (made) his butler fight his butcher for a prize. The butcher won. So the first boxing match was some bored, rich, royal making his servants fight each other? Kind of explains a lot about boxing. “You there, butler. You shall fight my butcher here in a series rounds until it is evident that one of you is the superior fighter. I shall give the winner one night’s sleep in the residence quarters. Pip-pip.” Now maybe this was not how it went down at all. Perhaps the good Duke was just trying to revitalize an ancient Greek sport and figured doing so under his own scrutinous eye would be the most prudent way to ensure its regulation and survival. I kind of think he was just bored and wanted to watch his butler fight his butcher. But is anyone surprised that the butcher won? I mean how many fighters have had the nickname “The Butcher?” It wasn’t Ron “The Butler” Strander, now wa

On this day in 1920, the New York Yankees officially announced the purchase of George Herman Ruth from the Boston Red Sox for $125,000. He had played six years for the Bo Sox, starring more as a pitcher, and they had won three World Series. In 1919 Babe had broken the home run record with 29 and had become the biggest attraction in baseball. So naturally new owner, Harry Frazee, decided to sell him to the Yankees enacting an 86 year curse for the most boneheaded trade in sports. 125K. Granted that’s about 1.5 million today, which is still...just awful. Look I’m not saying I’d spit on 1.5 million dollars if you tried to give it to me--and you are welcome to try--but Giancarlo Stanton just got a 325 million dollar deal. The deal was from Miami which means it more than likely a boneheaded move in the opposite direction, but still. Frazee figured Babe Ruth was only worth 1.5 million dollars! Now he may have gotten an additional 300K in loans, putting his value of the Bambino up to around 5

On this day in 1890 Edward Avery McILHenny shot what is thought to be the largest American alligator at 19 feet and 2 inches. Dat’s a big gator. I once caught a lizard that was easily the length of my hand (and I have big hands), so I feel I can accurately assess what EA was going through as he killed such a monstrous beast. For a brief moment you feel as if the world of nature has opened up, revealing a giant staircase on a mountainside and that you have ascended those stairs all the way to the summit and stand there, alone and unchallenged as a master of all creatures. A lord of the beasts, if you will. But then you get stung by a wasp and realize that nature isn’t so easily dominated. Don’t think you can feel that way from catching a large lizard? Have you have ever done it? Didn’t think so. But maybe EA felt none of this. Maybe he just saw a way to immortalize himself in the annals of people who have killed large reptiles and so killed the beast for selfish personal gain. I doubt h