JANUARY 26th - Some Things are Absurd



On this day in 1960, Danny Heater from West Virginia set the record for the most points ever scored in a basketball game. 135. That record held until 2012 when Jack Taylor, a Division III player scored 138. Heater’s record still holds for high school though, and likely will for a long time, because 135 points in one game (before three pointers mind you) is absurd. Like the body count in Cobra absurd. Or Stallone's matchstick in his mouth for an hour and a half absurd. Or Brigitte Nielsen absurd. That whole movie is absurd. Of course it was also absurd that Heater was 53 of 70 from the field, 29 of 41 from the stripe, grabbed 32 rebounds, and had 7 assists. Burnsville won 173 - 43, meaning some selfish players scored points instead of giving the ball to Heater. Jerks. Some people have to have all the glory. Like Cobra. And surely Heater got recognition for his feat, which like Cobra is absurd, but you can’t tell me you’re not just slightly disappointed that he didn’t break a pitching record in baseball. Heater? I mean that would have been perfect. Of course you could do some punny damage with basketball too. Heater Heats Up. No one turned off the Heater. The Heater Exploded. You get my drift. And maybe Heater throwing heaters would be too on the nose. Like the main character in a movie being named Cobra and carrying around a gun in front waistband that has a picture of a cobra on it. And that stupid matchstick. Absurd. But then some things are.

This day has been Marked.

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