JANUARY 9th - Recapitating Little Mermaid



On this day in 1998, the decapitated head of The Little Mermaid was returned. Calm down, I’m not saying that mermaids exist, and I’m definitely not saying that some twisted, hallucinating sailor decapitated a manatee. I’m talking about the famous statue in Copenhagen. The Radical Feminist Fraction took credit for the vandalism saying they were trying to demonstrate a symbol of the misogynist’s perfect woman--one without a head. Authorities were never able to substantiate that claim though. I hope they weren’t responsible. I mean I get that they had “radical” in their name, but decapitating Ariel is a little much. Taking credit for it after the fact to affect change? Okay, I see what you’re doing there. Still think a bag over the head could have gotten the same point across, but I guess it isn’t quite as emphatic. Poor Ariel has had a tough life though. She’s been decapitated twice. Had an arm lopped off. If Disney had made the story of the statue, millions of little kids would be scarred. Not sure what people have against mermaids. Or is it just specifically Danish vandals? I mean those sailors that were intimate with manatees because they thought they were mermaids may have a legit gripe, but that’s kind of their own fault. And mermaids really helped them out--
”No, no. That was totally a chick man.”
“Dude it had a tail.”
“Yeah but up top it was a woman. I swear.”

Even Zoolander got grief for being a merman. Merman. Makes you wonder if maybe Danish Statue Ariel should have just stayed a mermaid. Under the sea. Because darling it’s better down where it’s wetter. Thankfully, as of now, she’s fully intact, sitting on her stone with her new legs forming. Let’s hope she stays that way.

This day has been Marked.

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