Marked This Day

This day in 1929 was the flight of the Opel RAK.1. If you are not an aviation buff, you should know that the Opel RAK.1 was the world’s first purpose-built rocket-powered aircraft built by Julius Hatry and paid for by Fritz von Opel. Von Opel also flew the thing. If you are an aviation buff, congratulations! I hope that you have found a way to utilize your predilection for air travel history in a way that is more useful than being able to say “I already knew that, interwebs dude,” when reading an obscure historical post on the interwebs. But hey, you have to start somewhere right? I've already explicated my Jeopardy theory before (memorizing the first line of every post could win you some money if you are ever lucky enough to compete on the show), but perhaps a more common use would be for Trivial Pursuit . You could kill the aviation history questions. You might only get an aviation history question one out of every twenty games, but if you play for long enough with the same peop

On this day in 1976, Jerry Lee Lewis was celebrating his 41st birthday by shooting at some soda bottles. Because, goodness gracious, how else would should a rock star celebrate. I mean great balls of fire, popping a few rounds at some unruly soda pop bottles seems completely reasonable. Of course, I’m not sure what seems unreasonable to a man who married his 13 year-old cousin when he was 22. I would venture to guess that firing those rounds when your bassist was in the vicinity may have, in hindsight, seemed like a bad idea. Or maybe Norman the bassist wasn’t near the bottles, and Lewis just had a whole lotta shakin going on. Whatever the case poor Norman Owens got his ass shot. Twice. In the chest. By his boss. Who was shooting soda bottles. Fortunately Owens survived. That would be a pretty miserable way to go out. It’s not as bad as getting eaten alive by ants, or getting stoned to death by millions of weak-armed prepubescents, but the sheer stupidity of the situation would probabl

On this day in 1824 Chiefess Kapiolani wanted to prove to the people of Hawaii that their belief in the pagan gods of old was misplaced. So despite the warning of priests who foretold mortal danger, Kapiolani defied the Volcano Goddess Pele and walked right up to a river of molten lava and declared her Christian God the true God before eating berries that were historically given as sacrifice to Pele while she stood before a river of fire that could have charred her flesh. That is certainly one way to make a point. It required a great deal of courage and faith. And I do not want to belittle the achievement by any means. I’m just wondering if maybe she shouldn’t have picked on a god with a little less pop. I mean why go after The Volcano Goddess? What’s wrong with Winifred the Goddess of Gentle Breezes? Or Leani, Goddess of Babbling Brooks? I’m no geologist but on my list of dangerous things molten lava is pretty high up there. But I guess it’s like prison where you want to show everyone

On this day in 1513, Vasco Nunez de Balboa became the 1st European to discover the Pacific Ocean. It was an epic journey filled with hardships, battle, and death. But it ultimately ended with Balboa standing atop the mountain range of the Chucunaque River gazing upon the deep blue water of the unknown ocean. I can’t speak as to what Balboa was feeling as he stood up there, but I’d have to imagine he felt some deep satisfaction. I discovered the Pacific Ocean close to 400 years later in the summer of 2005. And while the hardships I encountered were probably less severe than Balboa’s journey, there was one night in L.A. spent on an epic hunt for a fictional Denny’s that served beer after 2am, I felt quite satisfied when I dove into that cold-ass water. And while I may not have been the first person to set eyes on the Pacific, while on my journey, I did take a picture of my friends with Suge Knight and sat in the front row of The Jay Leno Show sharing a moment with Heather Locklear--she m

This day in 1968 was the series premiere of CBS’ 60 Minutes created by Don Hewitt. CBS has called the show the most successful broadcast in television history, though I suppose the term successful is relative. Being on air for 46 years is pretty successful. Drawing 13 million viewers per week, also successful. But is that more successful than Bob Ross’ The Joy of Painting on PBS? That happy guy used bang out 13 episodes in two days and did so for 11 years. He also taught people the difference between mistakes and happy accidents and gave otherwise uplifting advice while remaining delightfully pleasant. And his hair was better than Morley Safer. Not sold? How about Mister Roger’s Neighborhood ? Educating children everywhere from 1968 to 2001. That’s pretty successful. Is it a beautiful day in the neighborhood, Fred? I think it is. Not to take away from the brilliance of 60 Minutes. Even the ticking of the clock is iconic; although when was the last time you heard a clock ticking in yo

On this day in 1806, Lewis and Clark safely returned to St. Louis after their near two-year expedition of discovery into the the West of the still very young United States. That’s quite a long trip. The longest trip I was ever a part of was in college when a hippie took my legs out in an Ultimate Frisbee game from at least fifty yards away. I’d also imagine the expedition was probably pretty damn dangerous. Especially without 21st accoutrements like GPS. Would the Garmin Lady have been easier to deal with than Sacagawea? I’m fairly certain it would have been recalculating the whole trip. Recalculating. Recalculating. The trip, incidentally, was commissioned by none other than President Thomas Jefferson, making this the seemingly perfect time talk about whether TJ was impressed with Lewis and Clark’s return, but again--zagging instead of zigging. The return often gets overlooked, doesn’t it? I mean I get that there’s the whole "it’s not the destination, it’s the journey" clic

This day in 1927 was the Long Count Fight between Jack Dempsey and Gene Tunney. The fight was a rematch from a year earlier when Tunney won in a unanimous decision. For the rematch there were a few negotiational snags that had to be fixed. The 1st fight had been moved from Chicago to Philly because Dempsey was afraid that Al Capone, who was a fan of his, would try to tamper with the fight. The Long Count would be held at Soldier Field though. The fighters also agreed to new rules for the 10 second count. The knocked down fighter would have ten seconds to get up after the other fighter walked to a neutral corner. Apparently this was a rule that Dempsey wanted. Well, wouldn’t you know that Dempsey knocked down Tunney in the 7th, but failed to walk to a neutral corner for a few seconds giving Tunney extra time to shake off the cobwebs, hence the Long Count. Tunney knocked down Dempsey in the eighth and won the next two rounds to retain the title in another unanimous decision. So you might

On this day in 1988, Greg Louganis hit his head on the diving board during the preliminary round of the 3-meter springboard competition at the Seoul Olympics. This is a fairly well-known event, and probably a bit too high-profile for my usual taste. But being that I was only a wee young lad at the time, I don’t remember seeing it happen. I remember that it happened, but the circumstances were lost on me. I probably was watching VHS tapes of He-Man or ThunderCats and debating in my head whether Lion-O and his Sword of Omens could defeat He-Man and the Power of Grayskull. Point being, I didn’t realize homeboy got stitched up and kept diving for the rest of the round and continued the next day, ultimately winning the gold medal despite the five stitches in his dome. Again, you can’t rely on my memory or perception, as I was more concerned with Who Framed Roger Rabbit , but I never realized that ole Greg kept diving after he smashed his melon. I’m not sure if that says something about my

On this day in 1983, George Meegan took the final steps of his 19,019 mile walk reaching the edge of the Arctic Ocean. He started walking in 1977 at the southern tip of South America making his way to the northernmost point of Alaska. As you can imagine, Meegan saw a variety of things on his walk. You always see more when you stop and walk. I’m pretty sure I saw a drunk squirrel on my last walk, and that was just to the mailbox. I think he was drunk. I think was he a he too. It could have been a she for all I know--a little rusty on my squirrel biology. He kept running around in a circle. Regardless of his BAC, I never would have seen the little guy had I gotten in my car to traverse the few feet it takes to get to the mailbox. Meegan saw so many amazing things he wrote a book about his walk. I tried to write a book about my walk, but I think it's more suited for a limerick. Anyway, both of Meegan's feats seem pretty impressive. Thomas Jefferson would not have been impressed.

On this in 1859, Joshua Abraham Norton declared that he was the Emperor of the United States. He distributed letters to the newspapers around San Francisco that proclaimed himself “Emperor of these United States,” signing off as Emperor Norton I. This may seem like the work of a crazy person, and I might be inclined to agree with you, except for the fact that Emperor Norton I was an absolute genius. The guy had 30,000 people show up to his funeral. Feel confident you can beat that number? I’m pretty sure I’ll get at least fifteen people and perhaps a pet or two. Like a cockatoo and a pug. I do not know why as they won't be my pets. But they'll show up. Norton wasn't just happy with his title either. He had ideas. He disbanded Congress. That’s right. Get outta here Congress, Emperor Norton doesn’t need your corruption. He mandated that the Roman Catholic Church and all Protestant churches ordain him as Emperor. And he kept things local too. Emperor Norton didn’t particularly

This day in 1983 will be remembered as one of the most important of modern times because on this day in 1983 Arnold Schwarzenegger (hereafter known as Ahnuld in this post) became a citizen of these United States. I can think of no modern-day man who comes as close to Leonardo Da Vinci in sheer versatility as does Ahnuld. We’re talking about an Austrian boy who moved to America to fulfill his dream of becoming Mr. Olympia. A dream he accomplished 7 times. Seven times. How many time have you accomplished your dream? I once had a dream of being first to complete the monkey bars. Sadly, I got to six times and then retired never to touch the bar of the monkeys again. But Ahnuld was never willing to rest on his laurels because he has the heart of a panther and the intensity of a snake charmer. Nothing but drive. In fact, Ahnuld’s sweat is thought to be the original source of HGH. So Ahnuld worked his ass off and became the biggest movie star in the history of everdom. Kindergarten Cop. Twins

On this day in 1982, USA Today , owned by the Gannett Company, was founded by Al Neuharth. It quickly became one of the most widely read papers in the United States and in just three years was the second largest newspaper in America. Which is all fine and dandy, but I always had a bit of an issue with the name. Because back when newspapers were the major medium by which the news was reported, when you read USA Today , you were actually reading about the USA yesterday. I get that the title is figurative and means “today” in the sense of “now” and not in the literal definition of the current cycle of 24 hours. And sure, some late breaking news may have been added after midnight hence occurring within the current 24 hour cycle. So I guess it’s okay. But I’m just thinking about how this country literally misuses the word literally everyday. You know, like when Sally sees something funny and says, “I am literally dying right now.” No Sally. You are not. You are not even close to literally d

Note to reader: I read this aloud as Robert Stack. Much funnier. Meet Frank Eugene Corder. By all accounts, a normal(ish) truck driver who had been honorably discharged from the Army in 1974. Somewhere along the line Frank snapped, a good bet for that somewhere would be on September 11th 1994, when he drunkenly stole a Cessna 150 airplane and crashed on the South Lawn of the White House on September 12th terminating his life, which was thought to be the ultimate plan. Friends would claim that he bore then President Bill Clinton no ill will and simply wanted the publicity of the stunt. But trying to crash into the White House yet harboring no bad intent for the leader of the Free World who resides in the White House is a bit like saying you only put Visine in your ex-girlfriend’s current boyfriend’s wine simply because you wanted him to have the runs all night so you could make a move to get back your ex. I realize now that simile didn’t quite work. Or did it? Perhaps I purposely let it

On this day in 1831, Charles Darwin and Captain Robert Fitzroy travelled to Plymouth to inspect the Beagle . The Beagle , for those of you who slept through your middle school science and history classes and those Creationists out there who think we are all blood related to each other, was the ship on which Darwin was travelling aboard when he came up with his theory of evolution. I don’t want to go on a lengthy diatribe, and I never want to disparage anyone’s beliefs, so I will simply focus on the fact that evolution fascinates me. The cockroach for instance. Evolutionary speaking, that little bug hasn’t changed for hundreds of millions of years. Of course when you can survive asteroids, widespread extinction, nuclear bombs, zombie apocalypses, and whatever happened to us in the Matrix movies there is probably little need to evolve. Then look at the duck-billed platypus and tell me that some X-Men-like mutation didn’t happen when an otter, snake, and duck were all in the same lake t

(NSFW but it is Robin Williams and it's f@#%ing funny). On this day in 1992, Lucy van Pelt of Peanuts fame increased the price of her Psychiatric Help Booth from 5 cents to 47 cents. That is a pretty hefty price increase, but still pretty cheap considering the price that some headshrinkers charge to tell you that your father didn’t hug you enough and you need to learn how to let go of your anger. Not to make light of mental health, but it seems like the people who really need psychiatric care don't get it, and everybody else is on some type of happy pill. And though the irony of Robin Williams’ depression is not lost on me, I still crack up when he talks about Fukitol. Really, I just think that Lucy was on to something. Some people definitely need professional and pharmaceutical help, but others just need someone to vent to. A child charging 5 cents to 47 cents would work just dandy. The thing about problems is that they’re very easy to solve. If they aren’t your problems. I’d

Today’s factoid has a bit of mystery involved. It’s not a mystery wrapped in an enigma like I am, but there is a bit of myth entangled herein. The computer literate among you may know that U.S. Navy Rear Admiral Grace Hopper was the 1st Lady of Computing in the military. And you may also know that she came up with the terms “bug” and “debug” after a mishap with Harvard’s Mark II calculator. You see, allegedly, on this day in 1945, while looking at some technical mumbo-jumbo, a team saw something unusual in the relay. Upon further investigation they found it was an actual bug, and Grace became the first to document (she wrote it down in the log book) that this was the first case of a bug being found, thereby using it to describe a computer glitch. Unfortunately there seem to be a ton of holes in this story, the most glaring being that the Mark II didn’t come out till 1947. But like most legends there is some truth behind all this. The story is true--Grace talked about finding the moth;

(Some NSFW Language--but it's all in a delightful Scottish Accent) On this day in 1930, Richard Drew’s invention of 3M’s (Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing) Scotch Tape was first sold to a prospective client. Drew invented the transparent tape by developing a process to add an adhesive to cellophane. The name of the product has a bit of a back story as well. Apparently DIck wasn’t happy with some early incarnations of the masking tape he invented, and shouted to send the tape back “to those Scottish bosses of yours and tell them to put some more adhesive on it!” Because apparently the Scots were pejoratively known for being “cheap.” I did not know that. The only thing I knew was that Ewan McGregor didn’t like being Scottish and that William Wallace was 7 feet tall and could shoot bolts of lightning from his arse. I guess I was too enamored by the accent. In any case, transparent tape is a rather useful little invention. Where would Christmas presents be without Scotch Tape? Not wr

On this day in 1885, Slyvanus Bower sold his first gasoline pump, which he built in his barn, to Jake Gumper who owned a service station in Fort Wayne, Indiana. It is pretty impressive to build such a thing in a barn. He couldn’t even Google how to put thing together. Still, I wonder if Ole Sly realized how much complaining his invention would cause in the future. I’m not saying Sly should have to answer for this. He couldn’t have known that in 130 years gas would morph into a substance similar to liquid diamonds and prices would skyrocket. And he only invented the pump. But even so. I’ve known pyromaniacs who were cured simply because gas costs too much. The price of gas is partly responsible for the existence of SMART cars, and despite the fact they are good for the environment, I have a strong urge to tip them over every time I see one. I once saw a grown-ass man crying as he was pumping gas into his SUV. Apparently his wife had slept with his best friend, but the $4.00 per gallon g

On this day in 1945 chess master Ruben Fine won 4 simultaneous games of rapid chess. That would be pretty impressive for us normal folk, but Ruben spat in the face of normality. He won those games blindfolded. He only had ten seconds to move each piece while his opponents had 30 seconds. Plus the dude couldn’t see. While I do appreciate the difficulty of this accomplishment, it’s still pretty high up on the list of things I would attempt blindfolded. I’m not trying to be TJ here. Mr. Fine should proud. I’m just saying there’s not really an element of danger there. Now if you threw in a wild tiger, which hadn’t eaten in weeks, to roam the playing area while Rube was blindfolded? That would add a little danger, no? Look, I’m not going to win four games of rapid chess, blindfolded or otherwise--barring a Freaky Friday occurrence or an unwanted brain transplant with the craziness that is Bobby Fischer--but I’m not going to die if I attempt it, hence my willingness to try. My breakdown woul

This day in 1752 never happened. Neither did the day the after that. Or the day after that. Day after that? Didn’t happen. Had a birthday on Sept. 9th, 1752. Oh, no you didn’t. Day did not happen. Picking up a pattern here? You see, England finally decided to conform to the Gregorian Calendar in 1752 and had to make some days poof-disappear for that to happen. So when people went to sleep on September 2nd they woke up on September 14th. But time, my friends, is a precious commodity. You can never get enough of it. Unless you’re being tortured or watching a documentary on curling featuring three hours of in-game footage, which in some circles may be considered torture. Or if you’re stranded on a desert island with only a volleyball as a companion. In those cases you want time to zip on by. For the most part though, people want all the time they get. The British of 1752 obviously felt the same way because they didn’t take to kindly to losing 11 days. In fact, they went all damn-the-man,

On this day in 1978, John McClain performed 180 outside loops in an airplane over Houston, Texas. Seems like a lot of loops to me. When I was younger, I used to be able to spin around with my arms out ten times before I got dizzy, but I’m guessing that’s not quite the same thing. How Mr. McClain did not get queasy is beyond me. Musta had a stomach made of iron. And probably a fair bit of aeronautical skill and maneuverability. Of course we are talking about a guy who changed the spelling of his name to McClane, became a Los Angeles cop, and ten years after his Loop Fest took on a slew of German terrorists who had taken hostages (including his estranged wife) in Nakatomi Plaza. Damn if ole McClain or McClane didn’t pick off those German assholes one by one till he got Hans Gruber and dropped that bastard out of a window. The man was a warrior. I’m really not sure what is more impressive. I would ask my buddy Thomas Jefferson to judge, but he’d just say both accomplishments were nothing

On this day in 1689, Peter the Great of Russia implemented a tax on beards. Apparently he wanted his countrymen (and the occasional unfortunate countrywoman) to look more European. He was trying to modernize Russia; apparently beards were too old school in the late 17th century. I get the idea. Your dress can really affect the way you think and feel. It’s pretty hard to command respect if you’re dressed like an adult Cupid. I wouldn’t know, but I hear things. Problem is Russia is cold. I’ve never been there, but, you know, I hear things. I’d imagine that a beard in freezing temperatures could come in handy sometimes. And you have the added benefit of hiding facial flaws with a bushy beard. Weird mole above your lip? Grow a beard dude. Seriously though, I think Peter the Great just had an issue with hipsters. All those Russian posers who were just growing beards to be “ironic.” They’d walk around St. Petersburg twirling their mustaches and talking about how they were super upset that th