SEPTEMBER 15th - USA YESTERDAY (Literally. Can't Even.)



On this day in 1982, USA Today, owned by the Gannett Company, was founded by Al Neuharth. It quickly became one of the most widely read papers in the United States and in just three years was the second largest newspaper in America. Which is all fine and dandy, but I always had a bit of an issue with the name. Because back when newspapers were the major medium by which the news was reported, when you read USA Today, you were actually reading about the USA yesterday. I get that the title is figurative and means “today” in the sense of “now” and not in the literal definition of the current cycle of 24 hours. And sure, some late breaking news may have been added after midnight hence occurring within the current 24 hour cycle. So I guess it’s okay. But I’m just thinking about how this country literally misuses the word literally everyday. You know, like when Sally sees something funny and says, “I am literally dying right now.” No Sally. You are not. You are not even close to literally dying, unless you count the fact that you have two legs and there are numerous objects around you hard enough to cause a brain hemorrhage if you happen to have as bad a grasp on your own coordination as you do on the finer aspects of the English language. So no, Sally, you are not literally dying. You are merely overusing a flawed and clichéd hyperbole which literally turns the phrase into a figurative one. None of this seems to have affected USA Today though, as it is currently the number one circulated newspaper in the country. Of course the people who have issues distinguishing between the literal and the figurative, probably aren’t the ones reading the newspaper. Like Sally. Sally can’t read the paper. She literally has like no time to do anything. She like can’t even right now. Literally. Can’t even.

This day has been Marked.

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