SEPTEMBER 16th - I'm a Citizen, you Idiot.



This day in 1983 will be remembered as one of the most important of modern times because on this day in 1983 Arnold Schwarzenegger (hereafter known as Ahnuld in this post) became a citizen of these United States. I can think of no modern-day man who comes as close to Leonardo Da Vinci in sheer versatility as does Ahnuld. We’re talking about an Austrian boy who moved to America to fulfill his dream of becoming Mr. Olympia. A dream he accomplished 7 times. Seven times. How many time have you accomplished your dream? I once had a dream of being first to complete the monkey bars. Sadly, I got to six times and then retired never to touch the bar of the monkeys again. But Ahnuld was never willing to rest on his laurels because he has the heart of a panther and the intensity of a snake charmer. Nothing but drive. In fact, Ahnuld’s sweat is thought to be the original source of HGH. So Ahnuld worked his ass off and became the biggest movie star in the history of everdom. Kindergarten Cop. Twins. Collateral Damage. Conan. Predator. True Lies. Terminator. That resume is untouchable. Daniel Day-Lewis cries himself to sleep thinking about that filmography. But again Ahnuld was not done. Because when one drop of Ahnuld’s blood is consumed by a Chihuahua it turns into a German Shepard. So he decided to take his magical blood and become the Governor of Khal E Fornia. And why not? The only thing that exceeds Ahnuld vast amount of muscle and testosterone is his genius for political strategy. A man sculpted from mountains by Michelangelo himself? Check. An actor with such pathos he can utter lines like “Hasta la vista, baby” and “No, it is not a tumah” with the same amount of gravitas? Check. A politician that people are so physically terrified of they will do anything he says? Boom. If that is not a modern-day Renaissance Man than the rumor that when Ahnuld laughs grizzly bears curl into the fetal position in sheer terror must not be true either. AHH GAH AHH HAH. And because of this day in 1983 America can claim Ahnuld as one of very our own. What a great country.

This day has been Marked. AHH GAH AHH HAH (That is Ahnuld laughing btdubs).

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