SPETEMBER 5th - Not Pumped for the Pump



On this day in 1885, Slyvanus Bower sold his first gasoline pump, which he built in his barn, to Jake Gumper who owned a service station in Fort Wayne, Indiana. It is pretty impressive to build such a thing in a barn. He couldn’t even Google how to put thing together. Still, I wonder if Ole Sly realized how much complaining his invention would cause in the future. I’m not saying Sly should have to answer for this. He couldn’t have known that in 130 years gas would morph into a substance similar to liquid diamonds and prices would skyrocket. And he only invented the pump. But even so. I’ve known pyromaniacs who were cured simply because gas costs too much. The price of gas is partly responsible for the existence of SMART cars, and despite the fact they are good for the environment, I have a strong urge to tip them over every time I see one. I once saw a grown-ass man crying as he was pumping gas into his SUV. Apparently his wife had slept with his best friend, but the $4.00 per gallon gas he was pumping probably didn’t help matters. So while I commend Sly Bower for his vision and stick-to-itiveness, I can’t get too pumped up about it (pun-alert). Really I can’t. I participated in a medical study that affected my endorphins in order to pay for my gas, so it’s hard for me to get excited about much of anything these days. Albino midgets would do the trick. But, alas, my quest has been fruitless.

This day has been Marked.

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