Marked This Day

Did you know that there used to be a Grammy category for Best Disco Recording? The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences watched as disco ruled the airwaves of the 70’s, but waited until 1980 to finally legitimize the genre with its own Grammy category. And on this very day, February 27th, in 1980 the first Grammy for Best Disco Recording was given to “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor. You can’t fault the Academy for giving the award to that song (though I’ll give a special shout out to MJ’s “Don’t Stop Till Get Enough”) as it was, and still is a party standard. But you know what didn’t survive? The Best Disco Recording category. Perhaps the Academy was afraid. Maybe even petrified. Whatever the case, 1980 was the only year that disco was awarded at the big dance. They just waited a little too long. Or not long enough. It would be like getting in on the Z. Cavaricci craze in the early 90s or flannel trend in the early 2000s. Just a tad too late people. Timing people. It’s eve

On this day 1988 (though multiple sources claim 1984, but I’m sticking with the LA Times) Pak Awang, an 84-year-old witch doctor from Malaysia got married. I’ve written about marriages a few times. I’ve written about old people getting married. Older than Pak. I believe I’ve even written about people getting married multiple times. Everybody knows somebody who has been married multiple times. But usually that means like 3 times. Perhaps you know somebody who just doubled-down and is in the 4-10 range. And you kind of judge him/her a little bit, don’t you? But Pak? Pak don’t care 'bout your judgement. He was just a different dude. The type of dude that would get married at age 84 despite the fact he had been married 79 times before. 79 times. Pak don’t give up. I don’t even know how that’s numerically possible. I think it is the most amazing/ridiculous thing that I have ever heard, and I’ve written about the world record for the distance a champagne cork has traveled. Think about i

On this day in 1990, Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac broke down during an interview with the BBC, lamenting the fact that she would never have children and that no man could stand her for long. Amazing to realize that a woman as powerful and artistic and brilliant as Stevie would have such classic regrets and self-doubts. This was a woman who was an integral cog in the wheel of Fleetwood Mac --probably its most famous member. I would venture to say the average person would recognize her name before Lindsey Buckingham’s. She wrote Landslide for Pete’s sake, which basically illustrates her whole dilemma. And here she was, despite all her success, distraught about her love life. Makes you realize that all people, no matter how famous or rich, can have regrets, and that most people don’t get every single thing they want in life. When you chose one thing, you are often also choosing not have another thing. Think of it as a less contrived, less cheesy, less ridiculous episode of The Bachelor

On this day in 1988, the United States Supreme Court unanimously voted to overturn a $200,000 settlement awarded to Rev. Jerry Falwell for his emotional distress over being satirized in Hustler magazine. If you wish to see this little drama unfold in a more detailed fashion feel free to watch The People Vs. Larry Flynt with Woody Harrelson and Courtney Love. I’ve seen bits and pieces, but I can’t remember if the movie contains the part I’d be most interested to know. How did Jerry Falwell come to find out he was parodied in a pornographic magazine. I’m sure it was a third-party news source that ran the story, but I’d still like to know who had the honor of telling the Reverend that Hustler had run a mock advertisement in their magazine detailing Jerry’s first sexual experience. How did that conversation go? I mean there are certain subjects you just know will be uncomfortable with certain people. Like talking about grabbing the paper towels off the top shelf while shopping with a mi

On this day in 2014, Dale Earnhardt Jr. won his second Daytona 500, ten years after winning his first. Cause you can’t hate 88. Especially considering how big of an icon his father was in the racing world and how long it took Dale Sr. to win his first Daytona. Plus Jr. is a ginger. Not that being a ginger prohibits you from winning the Daytona 500, but there really aren’t many red-headed athletes out there. Bill Walton. Shaun White. Chuck Norris, if you count karate. That’s about it. You have to give Jr. some props. I’m giving him props, and I’ve never been big into NASCAR. Not that I think what they do doesn’t take skill and stamina. And the appeal of being able to bring your own alcohol into the event is a winner. So there are definitely some pluses to consider. I just never found the constant left turns for hours to be all that riveting. But maybe it’s one of those things you come to appreciate through time and persistence. Like beer. Or scotch. Which you could drink while watching

On this day in 1962, John Glenn became the 1st American to orbit the Earth in outer space aboard the Friendship 7 . He did so three times, and his little trip wasn’t without some hiccups, mainly being that the heat shield was loose, which sounds like a fairly important thing that you wouldn’t want being loose. Glenn made it back in one piece, although a little sweaty. I’ve always wondered if vehicle malfunctions cease to bother you after you’ve had one in space. I mean if John Glenn or Jim Lovell got a flat tire on the freeway after their experiences in space, would they still have been annoyed? At least a tad bit, I gotta think. No matter how many times you’ve been in space, no one wants to change a tire on the freeway. But I also think the element of danger wasn’t quite as prevalent for them. Sure, some drunken idiot could have crashed into them effectively ending all of their higher-motor functioning capability, but getting stranded in outer space or burning up reentering the Eart

On this day last year, Facebook bought WhatsApp for 19 billion dollars. Being that I’d never heard of WhatsApp, or used it, or heard of other people using it, 19 billion dollars seemed a bit excessive to me. You could buy like all the teams in all the sports for 19 billion dollars. Maybe not all the teams, but close. You could probably have yourself cloned for 19 billion dollars. For 19 billion dollars you could make yourself the star of every new Star Wars movie (and probably retroactively plug yourself into all the old ones). You could commission a Neuralizer from Men in Black and wipe peoples' memories for fun. You could have your face added to Mt. Rushmore and have every history teacher in the country have to say, “And that’s Bob. He wasn’t a revered President, but he did have 19 billion dollars.” Or you could buy the largest internet messaging service because apparently the kids these days think text messages take too long or cost too much or whatever. And social media is all

On this day in 1930, Clyde William Tombaugh discovered what used to be known as the planet Pluto, until 2006 when Neil deGrasse Tyson and the International Astronomical Union formally informed everybody that Pluto was in fact not a classical planet-planet but a dwarf-planet. To which everybody, was like, "Whaaaaat?" It is kind of like discovering you were the last living descendant of a very wealthy family from Europe and after the death of Lord Abernethy Nathaniel Dracos, you are given more money than you could ever hope to spend in your lifetime. Things go swimmingly for about fifteen years. You’re living the Life of Riley, yachting with Leo and supermodels, driving Maybachs, vacationing on your own private island. At one point you even thought of becoming Batman--you have billions of dollars and nobody has done it yet. And then somebody comes and tells you, sorry you weren’t actually related Lord Abernethy Nathaniel Dracos and your money is actually property of the tiny go

On this day in 1992, Jose Canseco got into a bit of an argument with his then-wife Esther. No big deal, right? Arguments happen. You leave the toilet seat up or you notice your girlfriend’s friend a little too much or you forget a birthday or anniversary. Dates are hard to keep track of. At least they were until Facebook. I mean how is one supposed to remember the date of a first kiss or when things got serious or when you were proposed to when he has all these really important sports statistics ruminating around in the recall cortex of the brain ready to be spit out when somebody asks how many rushing yards Barry Sanders had for his career (15,269). If a date is that important, you could at least make a jingle with it. Columbus sailed the ocean blue style (1492). Or you could try to convince me that the date holds the same historical significance of the Magna Carta (1215). Of course all of this is moot, if you’re on Facebook. At least for birthdays. I am constantly reminded of when al

On this day in 1949, the Canadian Ice Hockey Team beat Denmark’s team 47 - 0 in the opening round of the World Ice Hockey Championships. I’ve written about blowout wins before, but this is pretty crazy. Canada does like hockey a lot, I think they squeeze maple syrup out little puck dispensers up there, so that they won handily could not have been much of a surprise. But 47 goals is still crazy. I just can’t decide how crazy. Probably not as crazy as Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction , but possibly a bit crazier than Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison . Somewhere in that zone there. And I’ve expounded on the morality of running up the scores before, but this time I have more of a problem with the number of goals. 47. That’s three away from an even 50. In for a penny, in for a pound at that point. Go big or go home. Not that 47 isn't going big, but come on. Go ahead and make it an even number at least, Canadians. You had to be scoring at will. Did Denmark even have a goalie? Just 3 more go

On this day in 1960, Jack Paar walked off The Tonight Show . Like straight walked off. During filming. He didn’t drop the mic, but pretty much did the equivalent. Just said he was leaving The Tonight Show and that there had to be a better way of making a living, thanked the fans while getting a little choked up and walked off stage and off the air. Paar was a toonsy bit hacked off that the network (NBC) had censored him the night before by cutting a joke. It was a rather intricate story about a British lady looking to vacation in Switzerland, and asking where the W.C. (water closet or bathroom) was. The Swiss weren’t familiar with this abbreviation or nomenclature and figured W.C stood for Wedding Chapel, and the mix-up in which he described the amount of people who could fit into the W.C. and when there was musical accompaniment, etc. Pretty funny stuff. But apparently the brass at NBC weren’t amused and so cut it out. And Jack was like Sayonara, Buttheads. And he had a point. This c

On this day in 1996, Gary Kasparov beat back the machines as he defeated the IBM supercomputer Deep Blue 4-2 in a chess match. Kasparov demonstrated that the human brain could still be more powerful than a computer. Sure the victory was short-lived. Deep Blue took the rematch the following year 3.5 to 2.5 (assuming the half comes in to play when a game is played to a draw). But if you really look at it, it’s pretty amazing that Gary was able to do as well as he did against Deep Blue. How many people does it take to build a supercomputer? I’d be willing to bet that it is more than one. So the match was really Gary versus a whole bunch of brilliant computer geeks, and for one shining moment Gary’s personal brilliance spit in the face of the inevitably of oncoming technology, shouting that he would not go silent into that good night. Look, I’ve read some Asimov, and I’ve seen all the Terminators. I know the robots are coming. But human beings still only use 10% of their brains, and while

On this day in 1980, Rick Barry set a then NBA record for 3 pointers made in a game, hitting 8 against the Utah Jazz. The record has since been broken many, many, many times, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that Barry was one of the greatest shooters in NBA history. For those unfamiliar with the man, he was the guy who shot his free throws Granny Style. That’s right, homeboy underhanded those bad boys like he was tossing a beach ball to a baby. Except he did so at a very high percentage. In fact, he held records for free throw percentage both in a season and for a career. More importantly, I think, was that he didn’t care that the Granny Shot was seen as sissy or different or inferior. He just did his thing. And he did it well. Some other people should have taken his lead. He offered to teach both Shaq and Dwight Howard the secret of the Granny, but they were too concerned with image and so have left thousands of points at the line. All because underhanded was seen as inferior

Some NSFW Language: On this day in 1935, the Monopoly board game by Parker Brothers went on sale. The game can be traced back 1903 and Lizzie J. Maggie Phillips, but it wasn’t until 1935 that Monopoly as we know it came to be. It’s great game. I mean, sure, if you get lucky enough to land on Boardwalk and Park Place and you throw a couple of hotels on those bad boys, you’re in the colored money and pretty much running stuff. But it is still a fun way to pass the time. Plus it always makes dining at McDonald's more enjoyable. The only gripe I have about this iconic American board game is the quite unrealistic expectations of jail that it promotes. Imagine: the family is sitting around playing some Monopoly trying to teach the young one the importance of money, when little Tommy gets thrown in the clink for landing on the Go-to-jail spot. Granted this could influence Tommy to avoid trespassing, and with just a little speech from Mom and Dad it could impress the dangers of being in

On this day in 1957, The American Invasion began. I’m not talking about Vietnam. I’m talking bout music, man. I’m talking about Bill Haley and the Comets at Waterloo Station and the pandemonium that ensued. Much has been said of the British Invasion of the 60’s when The Beatles and The Stones took America by storm. When young teenage girls stalked after mop-headed Brits from Liverpool and screamed their throats raw. But you can’t get from A to C without B. And although the Comets were old news in America by '57, England had yet to see them rock around the clock. Without Bill Haley’s tour who knows if Paul gets that rock n’ roll fever. Or if Jagger gets satisfaction and doesn't need rock n' roll. Of course we could trace things back further. Back to the blues masters, Muddy, BB, and Howling. And why stop there. Could go back to Leadbelly. Or we could go back to Mozart. And if you go back to Mozart why not jump although back to the first time a humanoid picked up a stick and

On this day in 1998, Bill Gates was hit in the face with a cream pie while in Brussels. Right in the face. Just took a custard wallop right in the ole noggin. Gates was not volunteering at a circus or a dunk tank at a local Brussels school fair. This was not some type of charity event--Hit a Billionaire in the Face with a Cream Pie! He was actually walking into a meeting with Belgian computer and governmental leaders. But some Belgian dude named Noel Godin who likes to throw pies in famous peoples’ faces as a sort of civil disobedience, orchestrated the prank, instructing a man and a woman to launch some desserts at Gate’s noodle. The prank was supposedly orchestrated because Microsoft’s monopoly in the computer industry at the time was stifling innovation. They may have had a point, as computer innovation seems to have boomed as Apple resurged (with help from Microsoft fearing action because of their monopoly) but for all I know that could be corollary. No I think the main point to ta

On this day in 1815, the first commercial cheese factory opened in Switzerland. As with any mass-marketed product, some of the subtleties of specific cheeses may have been forgotten, but on the plus side cheese became more readily available. Even if some of it had holes in it. Wink, wink. Cheese. More available. I’m not sure three words have ever made me happier. Possibly substituting 'beer' for cheese. Or if I wanted to get really greedy substituting the words ‘Albino Midget Found’ would release those happy endorphins that make you go all stupid happy. You know like if you’ve just eaten the most delicious meal you’ve ever had and then the most beautiful woman in the world comes up to you and informs you of a date you have that night after you’re done meeting with your idol. (For giggles let’s go with Crawfish Etouffee, Minka Kelly, and Pat Conroy). That’s stupid happy. I’m not saying cheese makes me stupid happy, but it certainly doesn’t hurt. Because I'm also not saying t

On this day in 1926, 3 men danced the Charleston for 22 hrs. I don’t know much about the rules of the Charleston, as it mostly seems to me to be a bunch of leg kicking and arm swinging. It seems like a fun enough dance. I enjoy kicking my legs and swinging my arms as much as the next grown man who likes to pretend he’s still 7 years old from to time to time. Sometimes I even spin around until I get dizzy. They did ask me to stop doing that in the library. Apparently it was distracting the readers. They were all on their phones anyway. But doing anything for 22hrs seems fairly difficult to me. They only needed 2 more hours to get an even 24hrs though, so I’m a bit disappointed in these unnamed dancers. Bunch of quitters. Perhaps I’ve been influenced by Thomas Jefferson a bit much. Kicking your arms and legs for 22hrs takes a lot of stamina. I at least hope they changed the song the guys were dancing to. It’s bad enough dancing for 22hrs straight, but could you imagine dancing for 22hrs