Marked This Day

Some things are inherently awkward. An ostrich’s body for instance. Awkward. Or a “gamer” trying to impress a supermodel by describing his best killshots on Halo. Awkward. And sometimes awkward is more subjective. Like on this day in 1985, when Ahmad Rashad used Thanksgiving Day to propose to an awkward Bob Costas. I mean he asked an awkward Bob Costas to propose to Phylicia Ayers-Allen aka Mrs. Huxtable from The Cosby Show. Not that Ahmad wanted Bob to marry Phylicia. It was an awkward proposal (the video makes the confusion quite clear). At least I think it was awkward (subjectivity). Basically Ahmad was just like, “I’m in love with Mrs. Huxtable. Awkward Bob, tell her I want to marry her, and she what she says.” Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but I feel some things should be personal. I can understand proposing in front of friends and family--people who are actually going to be involved in your marriage, but all of America? Little much. But then there is the chance of the “Big Turkey...

On this day in 1982, Howard Cosell called a fight between Larry Holmes and Randall “Tex” Cobb. The fight was so one-sided, in Holmes’ favor, that Cosell swore off announcing boxing altogether, basically sticking to that promise with the exception of the 84 Olympics. Holmes vs. Cobb fight did go the distance, but two out of the three judges had Cobb losing all 15 rounds. That there's a whupping. And he was a bloody mess by the end of the fight, though he did keep his sense of humor, joking that getting rid of Cosell was his gift to the boxing-viewing public. I actually think that Cosell was one of greatest commentators ever, but it is pretty well documented that he was sucking on grandpa’s old cough medicine a bit too much at the end there, so Cobb’s remark did have a little bite to it. But Cosell also had a point. Watching a guy beat into Bolivia (Mike Tyson joke), can be engrossing in a macabre sort of way, but a competitive match is always more appealing. As a whole though, I don...

I know that some of these historical days are rather frivolous. But one can learn momentous things from frivolity. That being said, on this day in 1977 occurred an event of such importance it amazes me that Ron Howard or Steven Spielberg has not had the vision to commemorate the event on the silver screen complete with a sweeping musical score by Hans Zimmer. The event, as I am sure that many of you have already guessed, is that on this day in 1977, one David Steed climbed on a bicycle and went absolutely nowhere for 9hr and 15 mintues. In the bike bizz they call that a track stand, meaning that Steed kept his bike balanced and stationary for 9 hrs and 15 minutes. He later re-established the record with a 24hr and 6 minute stand. Dude must have had a lot of time on his hands. Like all the time. The lessons to be had from such a feat are numerous and poignant. First and foremost, and despite what Thomas Jefferson might say, you never when you might have to stay completely still on a bic...

On this day in 1971, Dan Cooper jumped out of a Northwest Airlines 727 with $200,000 of airline’s money. A man boarded the plane as “Dan Cooper,” or DB as the media mistakenly reported, and slipped a flight attendant a note saying that he had a bomb. He successfully hijacked the plane and made his demands -- 200K, four parachutes, a refuel, and food for the crew. Cooper let the passengers go when they touched down in Seattle, received all his demands, and instructed the pilot to head for Mexico. They took off again, and then he jumped out the damned plane. And was never heard from again. Now there are a lot of different theories as to what happened to DB Cooper. And the flames are stoked every few years by some new piece of evidence or some person claiming to be related to DB. There have been multiple suspects, as late as 2011, and the case remains the only hijacking in US history that has never been solved. So it makes sense that it captures the imagination--there is no finite ending....

On this day in 1871, Emilio Onra was shot out of a cannon becoming the first human cannonball in history. What on earth would possess him to wish to attain this feat is beyond me. I can understand skydiving and bungee jumping, though I would need liquid courage, a hefty bribe, and the knowledge that it would impress Scarlett Johansson before attempting either. But shooting one’s self out of a cannon? Not really seeing the upside there. I’m sure there is some skill involved, but it seems negligible compared to funambulism. (Nik Wallenda, you got me again, you tightrope walking bastard.) Not that bungee jumping or skydiving require a PhD, but neither involves the propulsion out of a cannon. Don’t even get Thomas Jefferson started on it. “Hogwash and poppycock,” he’d call it. “Cannons are for killing Redcoats not shooting tiny men into the air.” But then TJ once saw a frontiersman build a log house in a day using only his hands and was not impressed in the slightest. “Bet it’s gonna be d...

Rock and Roll has had many champions. Chuck Berry. Buddy Holly. Elvis Presley. The Beatles. The Stones. Nickleback. (I kid, I kid). Bo Diddley is right there with them and not just because he picked a nom de plume that is amazingly fun to say and perfect for the fratboy lexicon. Be honest, you’ve called a buddy Bro Diddley at least once. You haven’t? Well I bet you will have by tomorrow. So damn catchy. Anyway, on November 20th, 1955, Bo Diddley appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show , becoming one of the first artists to expose the world to rock n’ roll. Supposedly, Ed thought Bo Diddley was going to open with a cover of Tennessee Ernie Ford’s “Sixteen Tons.” But Bo Diddley was Bo Diddley. So he opened with “Bo Diddley” (seen above) because that was what Bo Diddley wanted to do. Seems pretty tame by today’s standards, but Ed Sullivan wasn’t pleased by all this Bo Diddleyness and banned Bo Diddley from appearing in the future. But Bo Diddley had taken hold. The “Bo Diddley Beat” would becom...

On this day in 1969, the Apollo 12 mission landed on the moon, making astronauts Pete Conrad and Alan Bean the third and fourth human beings to walk on the surface of the moon. People remember Apollo 11 because it was first and Apollo 13 because Houston, they had a problem and they made a movie about it with Tom Hanks. Though some people remember it being struck by lightning after launch, Apollo 12 sort of gets lost in the mix. And unless you are a big From the Earth to the Moon fan, Apollo’s 14-17 are also largely overlooked. Reinforces my point from November 17th that circumstance and surrounding influence the weight of a moment, doesn’t it? These things are universal, man. Which is really quite sad. In the history of mankind only 12 people have ever stepped foot on a celestial body other than Earth. Rough estimates are that 108 billion people have existed on Earth. 12 out of that 108 billion walked on the moon. I’m no math whiz, but that ain’t a high percentage. What is perhaps ev...

This day in 1307 is thought to be the date that William Tell shot an apple off his son’s head. The story goes that Tell refused to bow to a hat that Albrecht Gessler, the newly appointed Austrian Vogt or overlord of Altdorf, Switzerland had placed on a pole in the center of town, requiring all to bow to the authority of the hat. Gessler obviously didn’t have an ego issues. But anyway, Tell was known for being pretty handy with a crossbow, so Gessler set up this whole shoot-an-apple-off-your-kid punishment or you and sonny-boy will be executed. Crackshot Willie, did that no problem, though I do wonder if his son, Walter, urinated himself. Arrow flying at your head...aim high Dad. Aim high. But keen eye that Gessler had, he noticed that Tell had drawn more than one bolt from his quiver and was none-to-pleased to find out that the second one was meant for his heart had William injured Walter. At this point I’d like to point how much of an ass this Gessler guy seemed to be. I mean if you a...

On this day in 1967, the Surveyor 6 restarted its engines for 2.5 seconds, moved west 8 feet, and then landed becoming the first the man-made object to lift off from the moon. Really goes to show how much circumstance and surrounding lend importance to a maneuver that might otherwise be fairly ordinary. I’m sure spacecrafts have made longer movements since, possibly before--during testing, but being the first one on the moon takes it to another level. I realize that Surveyor 6 was not a sentient being and thus probably didn’t have a feeling one way or the other about being the first man-made object to lift off from the moon. You never know though. Maybe Hal 9000 from Kubrick’s 2001 was based on Surveyor 6’s OS. Minus the whole homicidal tendencies. Though they were no humans on the spacecraft, so who really knows. The point, I think, is that amazing is really just about circumstance. Your first kiss, though probably not amazing in execution unless you were a grade school Casanova that ...

On this day in 1732, Louis Timothee became the 1st professional librarian in America’s history, taking the position for Ben Franklin’s Library Company of Philadelphia. I’m assuming there had been volunteer librarians, but that is still a lot of pressure to put on a guy. I mean if Timothee would have messed up the whole profession could have been nixed in the country. Your books could have been sitting there unorganized and unguarded. Being the vanguard certainly has it’s advantages--ask Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. And there are a myriad of other things that are advantageous or at least cool to do before anybody else. Climbing Everest. Establishing a record in a sport. Landing on the moon. Landing on Mars. Travelling to the future. I’m not sure that I would put librarian on that list, but that is through no fault of the profession. It’s not like there hasn’t been innovation in the field. Am I right, Melvil Dewey? Of course Thomas Jefferson thought the whole thing was hogwash. “I have tho...

On this day in 1875, The Game, the rivalry between Harvard and Yale in American Football, was first played. Harvard won 4 - 0. No, they didn’t get two safeties. At the time a touchdown simply afforded a team the opportunity to kick for a goal, meaning a score couldn’t occur until the “extra point” was made. Of course the rules slowly evolved over time, morphing into the football that America enjoys today. The Game in 1875 is also thought by some to be the first football game played in uniforms, which sadly also makes it the ancestor of the atrocities to the eyeball that the Oregon Ducks trot out throughout the collegiate season. I want to watch a game, not slip further into color blindness. I get that Phil Knight was an Oregon grad and that he co-founded Nike in Oregon with Bill Bowerman (another Without Limits Prefontaine shout-out--seriously, you need to check out that movie), but do you need a different neon uniform for every game you play? Look back at that first score of The Gam...

On this day in 1910 the first movie stunt was performed when a man jumped out of a burning hot-air balloon (like out-of-control burning not functioning, sightseeing burning) into the Hudson River. The film and the name of the stuntman have been taken captive by the greedy hands of time, but there is visual evidence of the stunt on a Topps Bubblegum card of all things. Assuming this was indeed the first stunt shown on film, it’s a pretty solid first note. Of course, once the balloon is set on fire, the jumping into the river actually seems like the safest option. I mean if the guy had somehow set up a water system to fight the fire with the water from the Hudson River that would have been more impressive. Jumping was probably definitely the safer choice. This advent of danger in the film industry of course had a domino effect. Who doesn’t want to watch a man skydiving or hanging on the hood of car in a high-speed chase? But there is a darker side of celluloid history that can be traced ...

On this day in 1865, Mary Edward Walker, the 1st female surgeon in the Army, was awarded the Medal of Honor for her work with Union Army in the Civil War. Walker was captured by the Confederates after crossing enemy lines to care for the injured. Pretty amazing, especially considering that she volunteered even though she had to start as nurse because of her gender despite her knowledge and skill as a doctor. Then in 1917, the Army Medal of Honor Board deleted 911 names from the Army Medal of Honor Roll after changing its eligibility rules, making Mary Edwards Walker one of the casualties. Did I mention that she was the only woman on that list? Her medal was restored in 1977, almost sixty years after her death. Might just be me, but I would think that Medals of Honor should only be revoked in extreme cases. Like if it turned out instead of saving 30 civilians during a battle, the recipient actually killed them. Good reason to revoke that Medal. But otherwise? I can understand changing ...

On this day in 1801, the fine state of Kentucky outlawed dueling. I won’t comment on whether this should have happened sooner or later, but I think we can agree that when it comes to conflict resolution dueling is probably not the most constructive way to go about solving one’s problems. I like to win arguments as much as, possibly more than, the next person, but the whole winding up stabbed or shot? Not really for me. Probably not for you either, unless you are Duncan or Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod, meaning you are immortal--and have incredible hair. For everyone else, I guess it would make people more discerning if they were in a disagreement. Oh, this is Timmy Blackburn? He’s nearly blind in his right eye, I can get prettay nasty with the Yo Mama jokes without fear of death. But honestly, the only people who should settle their arguments with duels are the group of Immortals that populate the fictional universe of Highlander --the movie or the TV show. Because there can be on...

This day in 1943 was the last exercise in pure futility that occurred in the NFL. The Detroit Lions fought their way to a zero-zero tie with the New York Football Giants. Or the Giants fought their way with the Lions. It’s been said that a tie is like kissing your sister, but what is a tie in which neither team scores? Is that like kissing your mother? Your brother? A frog? A Barbie doll? I really don’t know. And while I don’t believe a game has to be a track meet to be entertaining, I have to imagine that was a rather boring game to watch. There was a whopping 214 yards of total offense. That’s between both teams. Thomas Jefferson certainly wouldn't have been impressed. But then TJ once saw a an early football game take place between actual lions and giants. When I say “football game” I really mean wrestling and when I say “giants” I really mean that a few rather tall and stout gentlemen put on an old Roman Coliseum style fight against some Lions. The Giants won that matchup, subd...

On this day in 1995, Art Modell decided to move the Cleveland Browns to Baltimore, which was eleven years after the Colts bolted Baltimore for Indianapolis, which was 100 years before Britain placed a protectorate on the Territory of Papua in southern New Guinea. That last event has little to do with the first two as I don't think they played American Football in Papua New Guinea during the late 1800s. But it also happened on November 6th, and I like groups of threes better than groups of twos, which is a positive in writing, but can be a bit detrimental when looking for a relationship. Which us brings us back to Art Modell. Yeah, he was a little sneaky in his execution, but can you really blame him for wanting to leave Cleveland? I don’t have any personal experience with Cleveland, so I shouldn’t judge. At the same time, and at the risk of alienating all my Baltimore readers, not sure that would be my first choice for getting out of Cleveland. Say what you will about LeBron Ja...

Today’s post could have gone in a few different directions. I could have dropped a little “Remember, remember the Fifth of November” and regaled you with Guy Fawkes' Gunpowder Plot, subsequently pointing you to the awesomeness that is V for Vendetta . And that may have been the right the call considering there is actually a real-life historical connection there. But life isn’t just about right calls. Sometimes you gotta go with your gut. In that vein, November 5th, 1955 was the date that Marty McFly traveled back in time to in his DeLorean time-machine in Back to the Future Part I and Part II . I realize that this is the date of a fictional occurrence. I’ve mentioned before that late night PBS caught me up on the possibility of time-travel--mainly that going backwards would be impossible because of paradoxes--though that stuff is fun to think about. Of course, if it were possible, you wouldn’t know about it unless the Doc Brown who created it was running his mouth about it. And if...

On this day in 1879, James Jacob Ritty patented the very first cash register in an attempt to keep his bartenders from making off with his cash. Seems appropriate that an invention so crucial to commerce evolved out of an establishment that sold alcohol. As I have mentioned before, alcohol is responsible for the greatest inventions in mankind. When the wheel was invented in 4000 BC Mesopotamia, it was because some dude got drunk on wine and decided to bang off the edges of a stone table. Even simple things. The woman who invented shoelaces, for instance. Completely sloshed and suddenly realized a piece of string would keep her shoes together. Dean Martin’s best songs, Paul Newman’s best movies, and Ernest Hemingway’s best novels--all created with a little pickle-juice in the veins, if you’re picking up what I’m putting down. And the cash register is pretty vital to our way of life. I’m not putting down cashiers, and have actually been one myself, but do you really want all the money go...

On this day in 1988, Geraldo Rivera got his nose broken and face cut while filming a cutting-edge episode of his talk show called “Teen Hatemongers,” in which Geraldo deemed it a good idea to place 20 year-old idiots representing the White Aryan Resistance Youth on the same stage as Roy Innis, the national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality. Spoiler Alert--they didn’t get along. I don’t have any issues with having a conversation about hate and racism--though I do feel that watching American History X is probably more productive. But I don’t think it’s a great idea to put skinheads (I’m sorry, “racist skinheads” as Geraldo so keenly points out, in case their being part of the Aryan Resistance Youth didn’t tip you off) on the same stage as the people they so ignorantly hate. I remember the heyday of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich, which quickly became “who the daddy?” extravaganzas, but Geraldo got it going man. That was one heck of a melee. I could try to make some poignant c...