November 3rd - The Geraldo-Stache



On this day in 1988, Geraldo Rivera got his nose broken and face cut while filming a cutting-edge episode of his talk show called “Teen Hatemongers,” in which Geraldo deemed it a good idea to place 20 year-old idiots representing the White Aryan Resistance Youth on the same stage as Roy Innis, the national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality. Spoiler Alert--they didn’t get along. I don’t have any issues with having a conversation about hate and racism--though I do feel that watching American History X is probably more productive. But I don’t think it’s a great idea to put skinheads (I’m sorry, “racist skinheads” as Geraldo so keenly points out, in case their being part of the Aryan Resistance Youth didn’t tip you off) on the same stage as the people they so ignorantly hate. I remember the heyday of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich, which quickly became “who the daddy?” extravaganzas, but Geraldo got it going man. That was one heck of a melee. I could try to make some poignant commentary on mankind and racism, but to do so based on that cluster just seems tacky. And secondly--that mustache. That is one glorious mustache. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell that Geraldo got his nose busted because I couldn’t take my eyes off that feathery conglomeration of hair underneath his sniffer. I think Farrah Fawcett styled her hair after that thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were little mustache fairies that lived inside that mustache constantly keeping it groomed and bushy. And though I still think his brand of talk show made our country dumber, I can’t be too hard on Geraldo after the whole Al Capone Vault debacle in 1986. He just took an empty vault and filled it up with a never-ending sensationalism. But damn if that isn’t a mustache Teddy Roosevelt would be jealous of. And with Movember upon us, the Geraldo-stache is something to which all men can aspire.

This day has been Marked.

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