Marked This Day

On this day in 1994, George Swanson disproved that old cliché about not being able to take it with you. You see, old George liked his 1984 white Corvette. Like really liked it. Liked it so much in fact, that he set it up so that he would be buried in that little white Corvette. And on this day in 1994, after buying 12 burial plots, dying, being cremated, and some haggling with the funeral home in Hempfield County, Pennsylvania, George’s ashes were placed in his beloved vehicle to transport him off this mortal coil and into that big highway in the sky. Assuming he was a good and righteous man. And how could he not be? The dude was buried in a Corvette. Can’t take it with you, they say? George Swanson scoffs at your clichés and scoffs at your raised eyebrows. The dude liked his car. So he got buried in it. I’m not going to get into the metaphysics of whether he should have had the car burned and been buried next those ashes. That certainly would have been more spatially economical, but I...

On this day in 1926, popular evangelist Amiee Semple McPherson, or Sister Amiee, vanished from Venice Beach. Her “friend” Kenneth Ormiston also was misplaced around the same time. There had already been rumors of their involvement, so when the both went absent the rumor mill began swirling. Two people running away from the hustle and bustle to have a bit of alone time doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal, but when one of those people has built a persona and career on religious virtuosity and the other person is a married man with son, dipping out for some hanky-panky might cause a bit of a stir. McPherson turned up a month later with a tale of being kidnapped and dragged into the desert, before escaping 32 days later and walking 13 hours to freedom. Well the papers didn’t believe this tale, and made it seem like Sister Aimee was a liar who just wanted to do some private sinning with Ormiston. Might have something to do with the fact that it is a bit difficult to believe she had the po...

On this day in 1940 the nylon stocking, manufactured by Dupont, first became available for purchase at Gimbel’s Department Store. I was perfectly ready to comment on this as merely an advancement in women’s fashion giving an alternative to the constant ripping of silk stockings as well as giving burglars a cost-effective method of concealing facial identity, but nylon stockings are far more important than one might think. With this new synthetic material Dupont ushered in the age of plastics, kick starting a number of inventions and improvements that changed the way we live. Basically they set out to solve a simple problem and started a firestorm of innovation that, in the minds of some historians, were vital in America and it’s Allies winning WWII. It’s very similar to those doctors who were trying to solve cardiovascular disease and high blood pressure, but instead found a way to give men boners. Actually, it’s nothing like that at all. But I’ve made it 364 days without writing about...

On this day in 1932 the people of New York City had a parade. Not an earth shattering development, as New York had parades before and has had them since. But this was a parade for the noblest of reasons--for beer. The We Want Want Beer parade. 150K strong, organized by Mayor Jimmy Walker, all because beer was, and still is, awesome, and they were tired of it being illegal. I’ve expounded on Prohibition (June 9th, Oct. 28th) as well as the virtues of beer (July 24th, Feb. 3, Feb. 23rd) before, and I understand Puritan values and women’s suffrage and the Volstead Act and everything that went into deciding to ban alcohol, but can we all agree that it was an awful idea. When the mayor of the biggest city in the country is organizing a parade/protest because he wants some beer, I think it’s safe to say the country needed some damn beer. Because again, beer is awesome. Jimmy Walker knew that. So did 150K New Yorkers in 1932. I adequately demonstrated how beer has been behind every great inve...

This day in 1992 was the Scrapple in the Apple. What was the Scrapple in the Apple, you ask? Well that was when Howard Stern goaded Geraldo Rivera into boxing Frank Stallone on TV. Frank Stallone, brother of Sly aka Rocky Balboa aka Rambo, and a person who actually had 24 prior amateur boxing matches. Frank wasn’t Howard’s first choice, but Robert Conrad and G. Gordon Liddy couldn’t come to terms, so Geraldo had to get in the ring for 3 two-minute rounds with Frank Stallone. And Geraldo got his ass-kicked. I’m won’t say that Geraldo deserved to get his nose broken (again), but as I’ve stated previously, he did play a part in killing a lot of collective brain cells in this country with his talk show. He does have guts though. There is no lay-down in that feathery-moustached man. Frank Stallone tried to beat it out of him, and he couldn’t do it. That’s admirable. It’s not the best quality to have, but it’s a good one. It would probably be better to have Howard Stern’s power of persuasion...

On this day in 1997, 22 year-old Australian, Susie Maroney became the first woman to swim from Cuba to Florida. She swam for 24 and ½ hours inside a cage to protect her from sharks, suffering from dehydration and jellyfish stings along the way, as evident by the fact that she passed out on live television just four hours later. It’s an impressive feat, to say the least. I’m not quite sure what would make one want to attempt it. Perhaps, it was just a mini-Forrest Gump moment. I mean she was Australian, so this wasn’t an Elian Gonzalez thing. How much would that situation have heightened if that kid had swam from Cuba? Probably not at all, considering his trip was no picnic, and claimed the life of his mother. But if that little dude had breast stroked all the way from Cuba to Florida, we would have had to let him stay, right? But barring trying to escape a Communist regime, I really don’t understand why you would want to swim for over 24 hrs. This wasn’t Susie’s first foray into long d...

This is my last week of full-time posts. I started this little project on May 16th, 2014, and for the most part have managed to keep up with it. Friday will be my 252nd post meaning I still have 113 days to Mark (due to skipping weekends, holidays, and some miscellaneous days mostly due to LSU sports--not too bad, if I do say so myself). So www.markedthisday.com will still have some traditional “on this day” updates with the same random pop-culture references and meandering life-advice that I should probably learn to follow myself. But do you think Dear Abby followed all of her advice? Do as I say, not as I do. Anywho, I’m in the process of coming up with some ideas of how to continue Marking the Day. I think the days of daily posts are probably behind me for a while, but I would like to come up with something to continue posting on the site. If you have any ideas please comment below. I’ve learned a lot of information over the last year, from when cheese first became commercially pro...

Many people postulate that this day in 1969 was the founding of a little comedy troupe called Monty Python. The group met after a filming of Do Not Adjust Your Set, and then met two weeks later, getting a green light from BBC on what would become Monty Python’s Flying Circus. I am by no means a Python scholar, but I have seen a good bit of their movies and skits. But I’ll discuss some classics. Monty Python and the Holy Grail holds a special place in my heart for the Black Knight alone. He simply epitomizes Peale’s whole power of positive thinking thing. But a scratch. Twas just a flesh wound. The Black Knight is a man of principle. He moves for no man. This is mainly because he gets all of his limbs cut off and therefore cannot physically move for any man, but that is just semantics. The point is that the Black Knight has integrity. No limbs, but integrity. So I admire the Black Knight and the minds that created him. Being that I still often have the mindset of a 15 year-old boy, th...

Your life got a little better on this day in 1980. And I mean you in a rhetorical, figurative sense, accounting for the chance, that you (like I) were not yet a cognizant being in 1980. But on this day, the World Health Organization officially endorsed the eradication of smallpox, giving people one less deadly disease to worry about. From 1980 onward you could be around as many small people as you wanted without fear of catching their small pox genes. It might not have worked that way. I’m not a doctor. But I am all about having one less problem. Like smallpox was you and I was Ariana Grande and I got one less problem without you. I’m not sure who Iggy is--frankly, the analogy is disturbing me. But really, who doesn’t celebrate when a disease is eradicated. Plus it didn’t cause some new hybrid disease either. No zombies started eating brains because we got rid of smallpox. So, one less problem. Sure, you still have to worry about cancer, AIDS, ALS, Parkinson's, STDs, war, racism, g...

On this day in 1995, Reggie Miller became immortal. Not actually immortal. He wasn’t killed during a game, only to come back to life to the bewilderment and fright of his teammates then forced into exile where he took up with a Spanish Sean Connery who taught him the rules of fighting, beheading, and generally being immortal. There can be only one. That didn’t happen. Although, Reggie is looking pretty good these days, so there is no telling for sure. However, there is no denying that back on this day in 1995, Reggie was the one. 8 points in 11 seconds to beat the Knicks. A three to cut it to three. Steal. Retreat behind the line. Swish. Tie Game. Fouled on rebound. Swish. Swish. Pacers win. In 11 seconds. And he did it all right in front of Spike Lee. You could see him assuming the power of the Knicks almost as if he had beheaded them all to Queen’s “Princes of the Universe,” and their life forces were passing into him. Was one of the sickest things I’ve seen in a basketball game. The...

I’m not much of hockey fan. Probably because where I live winter lasts for about two weeks. But I have seen all the Mighty Ducks , so I’m pretty much an expert. Enough to realize the importance of this day in 1988 in the pantheon of NHL history. Jim Schoenfeld was none too pleased with the performance of referee Don Koharski after his Devils lost to the Bruins, and confronted Don after the game. Koharski fell, and blamed Schoenfeld for pushing him, insisting that Jim would be done (suspended) and hoping the altercation was caught on video. It was. And you can clearly hear Schoenfeld’s response in which he calls, Koharski a “fat pig,” and advises him to “have another doughnut.” Things got weirder from there with injunctions, walk-offs, and replacement refs all entering the picture. All because a ref fell and a coach told him to have another doughnut. (I like the spelling ‘donut’ better, but Schoenfeld clearly put emphasis on the dough, so in order to keep the integrity of his insult, I ...

On this day in 2013, Floyd Mayweather defeated Robert Guerrero by unanimous decision. I didn’t see the fight, but I would put money on the fact that it was boring. Not Money Mayweather money, because I don’t have that much money (not many people do), but money nonetheless. All of Mayweather’s fights are boring. But after beating Pacquiao on the 2nd, he is now 48-0. And he was best paid athlete in 2014, so why would he change? Because people don’t like him? I don't think he cares. $180 million for 36 minutes of work will do that. People were severely disappointed about the fight last weekend, but I wonder how many of them had ever seen Mayweather fight. The fight went exactly the way he wanted it to go. Floyd doesn’t knock anybody out. At least not often. He doesn’t string together beautiful combinations or show relentless reckless resolve. He’s not Sugar Ray or Marvelous Marvin or Tommy Hearns. He evades and jabs. And it’s really boring to watch. Couple that with the fact that he d...

On this day in 1939, the first Batman comic appeared. I am Batman. It was actually a Detective Comics featuring The Batman, but it was the public’s 1st introduction to The Dark Knight. I’m actually more of a Superman fan myself, but there is no denying that Batman is a cool superhero. He certainly wins the battle of the alter-ego. I’ll take billionaire playboy for 2,000, Alex. The Batmobile is pretty legit too. I don’t really care which iteration, mainly I would just like my car to be able to come find me if I said “Drive.” Not that I lose my car a lot. But it would be a fairly useful little knickknack to have. Could be used for some great practical jokes. Granted Superman could just fly everywhere, but this day isn’t about Big Blue. It’s about the dawning of the realistic superhero. Batman doesn’t have any special powers, besides an obscene amount of money and some fairly heavy abandonment issues coupled with some psychological trauma. He does have all those gadgets. Batman is cool. A...