MAY 25th - Taking it With You




On this day in 1994, George Swanson disproved that old cliché about not being able to take it with you. You see, old George liked his 1984 white Corvette. Like really liked it. Liked it so much in fact, that he set it up so that he would be buried in that little white Corvette. And on this day in 1994, after buying 12 burial plots, dying, being cremated, and some haggling with the funeral home in Hempfield County, Pennsylvania, George’s ashes were placed in his beloved vehicle to transport him off this mortal coil and into that big highway in the sky. Assuming he was a good and righteous man. And how could he not be? The dude was buried in a Corvette. Can’t take it with you, they say? George Swanson scoffs at your clichés and scoffs at your raised eyebrows. The dude liked his car. So he got buried in it. I’m not going to get into the metaphysics of whether he should have had the car burned and been buried next those ashes. That certainly would have been more spatially economical, but I don’t know how the laws of the afterlife work. Maybe a man who was cremated can still drive a car that was not. The main point is George should be commended for finding a way to stay close to something that was dear to him. Conventional society would have you believe that something should the memories of the love and joy he received from the people who were closest to him. But sometimes what’s dear to you is a bad ass car. George had the balls to be buried in his. And while he may not have needed a Corvette in the afterlife, balls (metaphorical balls, Ladies) always come in handy.

This day has been Marked.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

AUGUST 22nd - Don't Drink the Kool-Aid

On this day in 1911, somebody working at the Louvre discovered that the Mona Lisa was missing. The previous day, a Monday--meaning the museum was closed to the public, Vincenzo Peruggia, a maintenance worker, brazenly walked out of the Louvre with what would eventually become the most famous painting in the world. Vincenzo basically sat on the painting for two years until he was caught trying to “return” it to his homeland of Italy in a misguided demonstration of Italian patriotism. The theft itself is quite interesting, mostly because of the lack of planning and preparation that went into it, but equally intriguing is the part it played in making the Mona Lisa so famous. Many historians feel that the painting reached new heights because it was stolen. It kind of makes sense in that whole “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone" kind of way. Not that I would suggest staging a kidnapping to allow your significant other to realize how much he/she loves you, because that’s jus
Read more

AUGUST 23rd - History of the One-Way

Image
On this day in 1617, the idea of the one-way street was supposedly introduced in London in the alleys near the River Thames. I’m not sure why London was on the cutting edge of traffic direction, though Albemarle Street, which is acknowledged as the first one-way street, was designated as such because the scientific lectures given there in the early 1800s were so popular. Why wouldn't they be? I can’t really imagine why a one-way street in 1617 would be necessary, but then I can’t really imagine what London in 1617 was like at all. I’m fresh out of people to interview too. Unless the Highlander is real. Just as well. Interviews take a long time. And the person inevitably goes off on tangents. Look, I’m sure the story of how you “accidentally” ingested psychedelic mushrooms while trekking across the Pacific Northwest in your hippie days and met your first wife, Wind Lover, is an incredible story, but I merely asked if you were currently married. It’s a yes or no question. Without the
Read more

OCTOBER 23rd - A Blink of the Cosmic Eye

On this day in 1977, American paleontologist, Elso S. Barghoorn, announced the discovery of some algae microfossils, complete with some super-scientific name and some super-scientific qualifiers, that were 3.4 billion years old. In layman’s terms--really freaking old. Interestingly enough October 23 was also thought, for a long time, to be the day on which the Earth was created. In 1650, church leaders interpreted that the bible documents Earth’s creation on October 23, 4004 BC. Also a long time ago. Not quite the 3.4 billion years of the first life-forms, or the 4.5 billion years most scientist believe the Earth has been around for. So old Barghoorn may have been giving a little nod there, as in “I’ll take your 5700 years and raise you a few billion.” In any case, it shows that we are here but for a blink of the cosmic eye. Stuff has been around so long that if you really start to think about it, you start feeling like you are watching first 30 minutes of The Tree of Life and wonderi
Read more