Marked This Day

On this day in 1671, Thomas Blood was pinched trying to poach the Crown Jewels of England from London Tower. Captain Blood, as he was known, dressed up as a priest and was able to force his way into the Jewel House. Things went a little south, and Blood flattened the crown with a mallet and tried to run off with it. Didn’t quite work out. Blood and his accomplices were brought in front of Charles II. Now you’d think Charles would be all off with their heads. But Charles was a different kind of cat. He was more like that took some guts son--so I’m gonna restore the lands you lost in the war, and give you an annual pension. Plus Captain Blood became a damn celebrity. I wouldn’t necessarily advocate trying to pull off a high stakes heist by dressing up like a priest, but Captain Blood does demonstrate that fortune favors the bold. Sometimes you just gotta take a risk. Even if it doesn’t work out for you, you might just catch the eye of a King who is dope as bacon, and rewards your audacit...

On this day in 1992, American-Flag-Jacket-Wearing, God-Bless-the-USA-signing, Country Music Superstar, Lee Greenwood married former Miss Tennessee Kimberly Payne. It was his fourth go round with the wedding bells. And why not? Lee Greenwood is a bright, shining star. Only natural that women would be attracted him. That jacket. Those pipes. Patriotism. Yes, he might be a little over the top. And yes, he is really only known for one song. But damn if that isn't one hell of a song. How do you not like "God Bless the USA?" Has to give you at least a tad of pride, if not a mountain of it. Plus marriage is hard, y’all. Especially when you are known for your passionate love of the USA. Hard to compete with that. Perhaps Lee was so proud to be an American that he forgot to be a husband too. Or perhaps his former wives just couldn’t live up to the long shadow that ‘Merica casts. But darn if Lee wouldn’t stop trying. He proudly stood up one more time and gave love one more chance. ...

On this day in 1971, Conrad Van Emde Boas became West Europe’s first professor of sexology at Amsterdam University. Hard to imagine he was the first. Or that it took until 1971 to have an official professor of sexology. Where did people go to get their sex advice? No Dr. Drew. No Dr. Ruth. Did they just go talk their cousin Ralphie, who thought he was experienced in manners of the heart and groin? But Ralphie would probably give you advice like “just ignore her, nothing makes a woman want you more than ignoring her.” Or he’d tell that you’re only job in the bedroom was “to be present.” Or people just didn't get advice at all. Not that I don’t appreciate a perspective from a good cousin Ralphie, but you really can’t beat a 66 year-old professor of sex to get your sex advice. Something about an older person telling you what’s what. And they always use the clinical terms. They speak frankly. It’s a strange dynamic, but it puts you at ease. And sexologists have a bit more of a wide ran...

On this day in 1962, Yogi the bear--not that Yogi--became the first creature ejected at supersonic speed from a B-58. While this seems like the plot of a bad kiddie comedy starring Eddie Murphy after he decided to not be funny anymore or the hair-brained scheme of a circus owner who smoked way too much marijuana, it was actually determined that the female Yogi was the closest thing in weight to human pilot. So they doped her up and strapped her in before shooting her out at a speed faster than sound. She survived, but not without some injuries. I can hear the PETA protesters clamoring already. And I doubt it would ever fly these days. You can’t just go drugging up bears and shooting them out of planes. But hey it was the 60’s. Free Love and Swingers and all that. Protests wouldn’t have done much good anyway. You can't hear protests if you are traveling faster than sound. Of course, if you're bear, you probably wouldn't understand what they were saying anyhow. This Day has b...

On this day in 1983, Donald Davis ran a mile in 6 minutes and 7 seconds. It was a world record at the time. How might that be you ask, especially since Roger Bannister broke the four-minute barrier back in 1954? Well Donald and Roger were running a tad bit differently. Roger was running like a normal person--forward. Donald was not. He was running backward. An odd thing to do perhaps, but he got a world record out of it. Perhaps there was more to it though. Perhaps Donald was making a statement on the inefficiency of moving backward. You can do it. Just not as well as moving forward. If you chose to live your life constantly looking behind you, second guessing the decisions you made, and wondering how you could have made things better, it’s going to slow you down. Sometimes you need to look back. To remember what happened to you--to learn from it. And it can even be beneficial--uses different muscles and helps your balance. But most of the time best way to run is forward. Maybe Donald ...

I hesitate to even write about this. It was a dark time in history, and people don’t like to be reminded of dark times. Why we don’t know much of anything bout the Dark Ages, am I right? People would rather go about their day ignoring the muck and the mire of the past, choosing to remember only the unicorn-pooping-rainbow times of days gone by. They may even hope lightness will shine through the darkness of the present somehow. But this doesn’t just happen on its own. It is only through focusing on the darkness of the past that we can learn to shed the light on that of the present and future. So, unfortunately, I must recall a dark, dark time back in 1992, when on this very day, Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” reached number one on the Billboard Charts. I’m all for gimmicks. Being too sexy for your shirt was probably a nice little escape from any actual darkness of the time. And if you were a model the song definitely reminded you to do your little turn on the catwalk. Number 1 though...

On this day in 1970, “Pistol” Pete Maravich scored 69 points in a loss to Alabama setting a single game scoring record that lasted for over 20 years. He only had 22 points at halftime, but then he went to a different gear. They still lost. But no one remembers that. Because greatness can transcend results like wins and losses. It’s a wondrous thing--to be truly great at something. Most of us only get a taste of it--though there are different kinds of greatness. And it seems that those who touch it like Pistol, those that are truly transcendent in what they do, are here only for a moment. Maravich died young and only played pro ball for 10 seasons. But that was long enough to give us some great moments. And I’ve come to believe that life is about moments. Moments that inspire. Moments that teach. Moments that wash the haze of the routine away and make you realize that life is extraordinary and the people in it are capable of amazing things. The odds are you will never spend a significan...