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Showing posts from March, 2016

MARCH 28th - Maybe I've Lost my Head

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On this day in 1814, a funeral for Guillotin was held outside of Paris, France. Guillotin, if you can’t tell from his name, was the inventor of the guillotine. Apparently he invented (commissioned) the device to ensure equality in death by killing the rich and the poor in the same manner. So no disrespect to the man, some of the greatest minds start the noblest of intentions, only to see their inventions be twisted and bastardized into something they didn’t intend. I do find it kind of hard that Guillotin didn’t foresee the possibility that a device that chops people's head off might have been abused. It wasn’t like he was trying to commission a new type of life-preserver and he, oops, accidentally created a more efficient way to remove a person’s head from his/her body. But then again, I’ve never tried to invent a new way of execution. I mean was the creator of the electric chair actually trying to see if the human body could recharge through electricity? I’m sure Google could hel

MARCH 22nd - Is it Too Soon for Polio Jokes?

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On this day in 1933, FDR signed the Beer and Wine Revenue Act making beer and wine legal again after the horrible, dark time that was Prohibition. You know, when our government decided it was a good idea to make all the best stuff to drink illegal. I’ve espoused the benefits of alcohol, especially beer, numerous times while marking these days. But it still blows my mind that a country would think it a good idea to deny imbibing. I know we are mostly descended from Puritans, but still. Thankfully FDR knew what was up, and not just because he had more to see up there from his wheelchair. That’s an off-color polio joke. What? Too soon? No FDR enjoyed him a drink from time to time. I’d imagine he’d have to. Dude ran the free world for 12 years and had polio. If that isn’t a recipe for throwing back a few drinky-poos, I don’t what is. So kick one back for FDR tonight. Whatever your feelings on his reign as President, he did bring the booze back. And you can't complain about the guy who

MARCH 14th - From Higgs Boson to Ray Charles

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On this day in 2013, during the Moriond Conference in Geneva, scientists from the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, released findings further supporting that the particle they discovered in July of 2012 was a Higgs boson. (Holy mouthful). In 2014 this position was confirmed--the particle was indeed a Higgs boson, also known as the God particle. This is all according to the standard model of particle physics which surmises that complicated mathematical theories that guide the relationships and interactions of the particles that make up the universe. Basically it explains stuff through math. Which is why I understand very little of it. I find it incredibly interesting, but the science of it goes over my head. I read up on all that stuff. Higgs boson. Schrödinger's cat. Multiverse theory. It’s all rather interesting to me, but much of the science of it is lost on me. I like the theoretics of it. What are the rules that guide the unive

March 7th - Bad Sense of Humor

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On this day in 1994, The American Comedy Awards were held and broadcast by ABC. I’m not opposed to comedians having their own awards. Even though I believe awards for subjective things like art, movies, and music are inevitably hogwash. Though for some reason doesn’t humor seem less subjective than those others? I realize it’s not. Some things that I find funny are just offensive or mean or disgusting to others. I happen to think that those others have a bad sense of humor, but tomato, tomato. In any case, it’s not easy being funny. There is a great deal of thought and wit involved. Or getting hit in the nuts. So I don’t begrudge the awards. But the quickest way to crumble your awards show is to give out awards to suspect recipients. While I don’t exactly remember what was going on in the stand-up scene in 1994, it’s hard to imagine that Carrot Top was the belle of that ball. But then, maybe I just have a bad sense of humor. This Day has been Marked.

MARCH 1st - Isn't it...not Really Ironic

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On this day in 1954, Ted Williams broke his collarbone on the first day of spring training. That was some bad luck, for both the Sox and for Williams, especially considering Ted may have been the greatest hitter ever. 1954 was also Ted’s first season back after flying 39 combat missions in the Korean War and not getting injured despite crashing once. So you could look at this in a couple of different ways. Ted was extremely lucky to survive 39 combat flights and a crash without a scratch. Or Ted was unlucky to have survived all that and then break his collarbone in practice. You have to be thankful for the survival during the war. Breaking your collarbone sucks, but getting blown up in a plane sucks a bit harder. The whole thing reminds of the type of line that Alanis would have used in her hit song “Ironic.” “It’s like surviving 39 combat flights without any scratches, and then on the 1st day of spring training your collarbone unattaches. And isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?” And the