SEPTEMBER 7th - Uncle Sam is a Badass



On this day in 1813, the United States had its nicknamed Uncle Sam cemented in print. The name refers to Samuel Wilson, a meatpacker from Troy, New York and a supplier of barrels of beef to the Army throughout the War of 1812. Wilson would brand the barrels with a U.S. but the soldiers began to call the barrels Uncle Sams. And on this day, the Troy Post ran the story, and the United States got its nickname. It is a rather good nickname all things considered. People don’t often think of the power a nickname holds. It can make or break you though. One ill-timed bathroom incident and you could wind up being called Skid Mark for the rest of your life. Excuse my language, but that shit follows you around. There are nickname rules as well. You should never try to give yourself a nickname. The caveat is that you can do it once, in jest (even though may be secretly hoping it catches on). Like you can say, “Just call me the King Maker,” because you actually made Skid Mark cool again after you got him a date with Rachel “Hottie” Hotowski. But you can only say it once, and you have to muster an air of self-deprecation or you’ll find your nickname being Douche Nozzle instead. It is also very hard to outrun a nickname. Moving to Budapest might work. But the best course of action is to get a nickname that isn’t socially crippling in the first place. "Uncle Sam" is in the safe realm. Most people like our Uncles. Unless it’s your creepy Uncle Trevor, a close-talker who drinks too much and keeps having flashbacks from a bad trip he had back when he was following The Grateful Dead cross-country which makes him call every girl he sees Melinda and try to jam his tongue down her throat. But Uncle Sam isn’t like that. He’s sturdy. Tough. Uncle Sam is who you want with you when someone tries to carjack you. Or give you a nickname like Skid Mark. Uncle Sam is a badass. Because his nickname comes from beef and soldiers.

This Day has been Marked

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