MARCH 10th - Damn Periods and Exclamation Points



On this day in 1876, the first telephone call was made from Alexander Graham Bell to his assistant Thomas Watson. The first phrase every spoken over a telephone was, “Mr. Watson--come here--I want to see you.” Succinct. Easy to understand. Truthful. But telephones have changed quite a bit over the last 240 years. Landlines are all but extinct. Marty Cooper and the 1st cell phone call in 1973 was still fairly succinct, but since then phone conversations have drastically changed. You never have to call someone and ask “is so-and-so there?” Talking on the phone has declined significantly anyway. Not that I’m bitching. I’m fine with typing up a text message instead of hearing you pretend to listen to me while you argue with the Starbucks barista over how much your Venti-Mocha-Choco-Peppermint-Pumpkin Latte costs. Though I do wish sarcasm came across better via text. There needs to be a sarcasm font. I also wish there was punctuation that didn’t seem quite as eager and excited as an exclamation point, yet more eager and excited than a period. Just look:

“I’ll see you at the party!” Woah there. Calm yourself. It’s just a party. What are you expecting from me?

“I’ll see you at the party.” Jesus, could you get a little excited? Don’t even come if you’re just gonna mope all night.

It’s a quandary, I tell you. I wind up using the winky emoticon--;o)--way too much. (Yes my winky face has a big nose; he’s Roman. His name is Tullius). Way too much. Like if I winked that much in real life, people would think I had a tick, were having a stroke, or were just a creep. So part of me wishes we would go back to calling people. To communicating succinctly and truthfully. But then I think, nah. Because for the most part I don’t need to hear the anger swell up in your voice when some sneaky grocery shopper not talking on the phone grabs the last jar of Nutella. Just text me later! I mean just text me later.

Damn periods and exclamation points.

This day has been Marked.

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