AUGUST 6th - Peaks and Silicon Hill Valleys

On this day in 1997, Steve Jobs announced Microsoft’s investment of $150 million in Apple at the MacWorld convention in Boston. Apple was close to bankruptcy, but Jobs somehow convinced ole Billiam Gates to throw him a lifeline. And why wouldn’t Bilbo do it? Microsoft was worth close to 600 billion dollars and keeping Apple afloat would keep those pesky antitrust people from sniffing around. It was, by all accounts, an intelligent deal for Gates and Microsoft, and of course the partnership was a no brainer for Apple. And Steve looked like an old Ashton Kutcher. You cannot not help that. But hindsight affords to the opportunity to see better than an eagle wearing binoculars. Bill Gates probably didn’t count on exactly how popular the iPod would get which would infuse some vitality into Apple until iPhone and iPad came out and crippled everything in their path like some heat-seeking, ninja-warrior bomb, which as far as bombs go, is probably the coolest type. Unless you could get a Ryu-from-Street-Fighter Bomb in which a million Ryu’s would explode forth and Hadouken the hell out of everything. Of course Apple’s iPad, iPhone, iPod boom was nothing so violent. The only explosions were in people’s minds. Boom. Sorry Michael Bay. Still, I wonder if Bill Gates looks back on the investment, which has been called one of the worst of all time, and wishes he hadn’t been such a nice guy. It’s kind of like having your opponent on the verge of being knocked out in a late round of a fight, but instead of tagging him with an uppercut you offer him a swig of Gatorade and a stool to sit on. And then he knocks you down in the next round. But hey, if Bill is too broken up about it, I’d tell him to quit crying over spilled billions and go take a Scrooge-McDuck swim in his piles of money (79 billion). That and to let Apple use Office without all the sign-up accounts and loopholes and all that stuff. It’s annoying. And I’d remind him it’s good to have competition, because it breeds innovation. If Microsoft discovers teleportation or time travel or Hover Boards or even self-tying laces, it’ll be right back on top. Peaks and valleys. Things come and go. Except for Back to the Future. That is eternal. When it comes down to it, Bill Gates should just hire me. At the very least, we’d get Microsoft’s brightest minds on the Hover Board issue.

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