AUGUST 26th - Too Much Disco can Kill You



On this day in 1973, Mary Boitano became the first female to win the 6.8 mile Dispea Race in Marin County, California. But the truly remarkable part is that Mary was only 10 years old. The race was handicapped based on gender and age, but that is still wicked impressive. We all know Thomas Jefferson would have merely shrugged it off. “Why would anybody run, anyway?” he’d ask. “Those automobiles you have are a much more efficient way to travel.” Of course we are talking about a man who once saw Alexander Hamilton re-enact the William Tell arrow-apple experiment with a beer maiden after downing a pint of beer, spinning around five times and then doing a back flip. He hit that apple right off the lovely woman’s head. “Try that with Aaron Burr shooting back at you,” TJ said. Alexander should have quit while he was ahead. Still, winning a race at 10 years-old is pretty amazing though. I wonder what would happen if a 10 year old won a race these days? She would obviously be plastered all over the 24hr news cycle becoming an instant celebrity, until someone uncovered that her mother had been giving her HGH milkshakes twice a week and that she was actually 23 years-old with malfunctioning pituitary glands. She would be discredited and dishonored, until she came out with a memoir a few years later detailing how abusive her parents were, subsequently earning sympathy and understanding from all over the country, culminating in a triumphant return as a C-List celebrity on Dancing with the Stars. Ahh. 1973 was such a simpler time. A ten year-old girl could win a race and then fade into obscurity. Of course racism, sexism, homophobia, and disco were all much more prevalent back then. And too much can disco can kill you. The other stuff is pretty awful too. But the future starts slow. So here’s to Mary Boitano and improvements in our society--even if complications arise. Sometimes complications are the best things.

This day has been Marked.

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