JULY 24th - Beer is like Evolution

Back on this day in 1487, foreign beer was banned in Leeuwarden, Netherlands in an attempt to enhance the sale of local beers. It’s understandable to want to promote local products, but messing around with people’s beer is never a good move. Beer has been behind the greatest inventions of mankind. Al Gore was drinking beer when he created the interwebs. Ben Franklin had a kite in one hand and a mug-o-beer in the other hand when he discovered electricity. Mark Zuckerberg was drinking a pilsner when he made the book of the face. Michael Jordan had beer in his Gatorade cup during the Flu Game. Beer is the most precious of human resources. It has helped white people dance and all people procreate. It is not something to be trifled with. Plus banning things, well that just creates a black market. I remember when my high school banned candy (they probably just hiked up the prices on the snack machine, but for the moral of this post, let’s all pretend they banned candy in an early attempt to promote healthy living before such a thing became hipper than Jerry Seinfeld at a Bar Mitzvah in the 90’s). Anywho, an underground candy ring was formed, and more candy was consumed than if the status quo had been adhered to. Now, I’m not using this as veiled attempt to legalize marijuana, because that’s never been legal. But I am saying Prohibition probably wasn’t the best of ideas. Capone liked it though. Because banning anything that had been previously available=bad idea. Banning beer=really bad idea. Do you think the people of Leeuwarden just stood by and let the Man mess with their beer? They knew that beer was responsible for the construction of the pyramids, the building of the first ship, and the invention of the wheel. Like the high school candy entrepreneurs years after them, some Leeuwardens decided to “damn-the-man” and sold foreign beer anyway. The Man confiscated the beer. But again, you don’t want to start messing with people’s beer. A fight broke out. The next day a march was formed. The people were ignored. So they sacked the city. And that is how things escalate quickly. So don’t mess with beer. Charles Darwin was making his own batch when he formulated his hypothesis of evolution. And you can’t mess with evolution. It’s like beer.

This day has been Marked.

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