JUNE 24th - The McConaissance is Real, Y'all.

Today is the 76th anniversary of the Chicora Meteorite. For you living in mathematically-challenged land (a place I count myself) or in downright lazy-lane plaza (a place I sometimes count myself), in 1938, a big hunk of space-stone fell to Earth in the Chicora Borough of Butler County, Pennsylvania. And I’m talking pretty big. 450 plus tons big. The meteor was an olivine-hypersthene chondrite (a what?) or in layman’s terms a space-rock that had more of some stuff in it than other stuff. Nobody was injured, except for a cow which had the misfortune of being too close to the point of impact. Some reports claim the bovine was killed, while others say it was only injured—so for you bright-side-of-the-road people you can sleep well thinking it survived (hope springs eternal), and for you pessimists, you know that it was probably slaughtered for beef not long after in any case, so it really doesn’t matter. Regardless of the bovine mystery, for some odd reason I really want a multitude of Matthew McConaughey’s characters to have been there to see this event. Wooderson, Rust Cohle, Ron Woodroof, and Mud would be my choices, though I wouldn’t mind seeing Mark Hanna (Wolf of Wall Street), Killer Joe Cooper, or Dallas (Magic Mike) in there too. But if I chose Dallas, then I would be admitting that I watched Magic Mike, and while I have no problem telling people this on a one-on-one basis, I’m not quite sure I’m willing to spread it all over the interwebs just yet. Oops. Anywho, that would be a hell of a conversation, am I right? Because it would be all, hey man that meteorite just reminds you that you gotta keep on livin—L-I-V-I-N. Oh does it? Even though time is a flat circle and we are all just caught in an endless loop of things that we’ve already seen and done? Whatever, all I know is that it’d take more than a meteorite kill Ron Woodruff in thirty days. Look fellas, there are fierce powers at work in the world, and as men you have to take advantage where you can. That would be an awesome conversation to overhear. Four McConaugheys and a 450+ ton meteorite? That’d be better than a redhead for Wooderson. And you know he loved those redheads, man. But it still wouldn’t be all peaches and gravy, because if that meteorite would have actually hit Pittsburg, which Chicora is pretty darn close to, the loss of life would have been great, and people everywhere would have been would have been wondering like Detective Rust Cohle, if they were all just running around racing to get to a red light. But don’t fret my friends. That didn’t happen. The meteorite fell where it did; the only casualty a cow that may or may not have been killed. Doesn’t mean that it isn’t a good reminder for you to pause contemplate the reason for your existence. You’d be a lot cooler if you did. Trust me.

This day has been Marked.

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