June 12th - Harry "Herbivore" Houdini

On this day in 1923, Harry Houdini freed himself from a straightjacket while suspended upside down 40 feet above ground in New York City. Now this seems pretty impressive, though I doubt Thomas Jefferson would have even stopped to watch. But then again in 1790 TJ once saw a live, animatronic, to-scale replica of a Titanosaur, a group thought to contain the largest dinosaur ever which was discovered three years ago and was estimated to be about the size of a thirteen story building—even more amazing considering people didn’t even know about Titanosaurs in 1790 and the resources and manpower it would take to create a live animatronic one are mind-bottling. But TJ just looked up and said, “Just an herbivore,” and then walked down the street chewing a piece of straw like he had merely seen a dung beetle. I actually tend to agree with TJ this time. About Houdini, not the Titanosaur. Freeing oneself from a straightjacket while suspended upside down 40 feet above the ground is impressive, and I'm sure you'd be very happy to have this ability if you were trying to escape from an insane asylum located forty feet above the ground. And while I’m not discounting that this could happen to some of you, I’m going to file this one away under Unnecessary Life Skills. It all becomes less impressive when you realize that the only person responsible for Harry Houdini ending up in that predicament was Harry Houdini. Similar to those imbeciles who wrestle alligators and such. I’m glad they do it—I find it as entertaining as the next guy, but impressive? Bending the laws of the space-time continuum to ascertain knowledge of an unknown extinct dinosaur and then building a working animatronic replica of said dinosaur using rudimentary science, engineering, and materials? That’s impressive. No matter what TJ says. Getting yourself out of a deadly situation you put yourself in? Congratulations, you’re a talented guy. But I have some serious questions about whether they should put a straightjacket right back on you. Because ya suspect.

This day has been Marked.

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