MAY 23rd - TJ not Impressed

On this day in 1785, Benjamin Franklin announced his invention of bifocals. Two lenses in one? What witchcraft was this? That’d be like having coffee in your tea. Or something. Point being, I’d reckon that most everyone was impressed. Except for Thomas Jefferson, because he wasn’t impressed by anything. He once saw a strongman pull five midgets in a buggy through 100 yards of quicksand. Just stood there with a Mckayla Maroney face. And John Hancock was a little perturbed. Said he wouldn’t have signed the Declaration so damn big if he could have seen. In fact, he told Franklin to go fly a kite. Again. Yep. I went there.

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