MAY 16th - Hooray, Old Water

On this day, possibly the day before, only one year ago, the oldest water ever was discovered in a Canadian mine. I’m talking old here. Like 2.6 billion years old. I’ve seen some old water before. I mean I’ve left a cup of ice on my nightstand before and it gets prettay dusty after a few days. But 2.6 billion years? That’s really stinking old. That water may have been the very water that Littlefoot was searching for in The Land Before Time. Of course that would mean that The Great Valley was in Canada, and that just doesn’t seem right, eh? Sidenote: was there some prehistoric duck that Ducky resembled thus deriving the name, or is that name a really great anachronism, or were modern ducks supposed to derive their name from Ducky. Chicken and the egg? Or, maybe, that old-ass water has the alien DNA from the Prometheus guys. Who knows? Either way, hooray for really old water.

This day has been Marked.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

JANUARY 6th - The Butler vs. The Butcher

Image
On this day in 1681, Christopher Monck, the 2nd Duke of Albemarle, organized the first recorded boxing match. He got (made) his butler fight his butcher for a prize. The butcher won. So the first boxing match was some bored, rich, royal making his servants fight each other? Kind of explains a lot about boxing. “You there, butler. You shall fight my butcher here in a series rounds until it is evident that one of you is the superior fighter. I shall give the winner one night’s sleep in the residence quarters. Pip-pip.” Now maybe this was not how it went down at all. Perhaps the good Duke was just trying to revitalize an ancient Greek sport and figured doing so under his own scrutinous eye would be the most prudent way to ensure its regulation and survival. I kind of think he was just bored and wanted to watch his butler fight his butcher. But is anyone surprised that the butcher won? I mean how many fighters have had the nickname “The Butcher?” It wasn’t Ron “The Butler” Strander, now wa...
Read more

AUGUST 23rd - History of the One-Way

Image
On this day in 1617, the idea of the one-way street was supposedly introduced in London in the alleys near the River Thames. I’m not sure why London was on the cutting edge of traffic direction, though Albemarle Street, which is acknowledged as the first one-way street, was designated as such because the scientific lectures given there in the early 1800s were so popular. Why wouldn't they be? I can’t really imagine why a one-way street in 1617 would be necessary, but then I can’t really imagine what London in 1617 was like at all. I’m fresh out of people to interview too. Unless the Highlander is real. Just as well. Interviews take a long time. And the person inevitably goes off on tangents. Look, I’m sure the story of how you “accidentally” ingested psychedelic mushrooms while trekking across the Pacific Northwest in your hippie days and met your first wife, Wind Lover, is an incredible story, but I merely asked if you were currently married. It’s a yes or no question. Without the...
Read more

DECEMBER 3rd - Never Too Old

Image
On this day in 1984, Harry Stevens got married to Thelma Lucas. Neither one of them was famous; they weren’t star-crossed lovers, or part of a political union. But this was not your garden variety wedding. In 1984, Harry Stevens had been breathing air since 1881. He became the oldest groom in recorded history when, at 103 years young, he married spring-chicken Thelma Lucas (84) at the Caravilla Retirement Home in Wisconsin. (Record was later broken by 106 year old Chinese man). Harry proved that love isn’t just for the young and that you’re never too old keep living. He also helped reinforce the stereotype/belief/scientific fact that men age better than women as well as the double standard that it’s perfectly fine for a male to be romantically involved with a woman 19 years his junior, but if you flip that script and reverse it? People would have had pitchforks ready if the Thelma had been the cradle-robber. But the main thing is that these two love birds found each other in the twili...
Read more