DECEMBER 17th - Charles Manson Does and Tiny Tim Did



There comes a time for every person when he/she starts looking around and begins wondering if the whole marriage/relationship thing is going to happen for him/her. Stereotypically this happens to women before it happens to men, which might have to do with biological clocks, but frankly, to me, the female gender is a mystery wrapped in an enigma kind of like why Tarzan doesn’t have a beard or what the best thing before sliced bread was. Eventually, no matter gender, if you’re single long enough you start wondering if maybe it was all a game of musical chairs and you’re really slow. Perhaps you’ve seen every one of your friends tie the knot, or you think that 40 is getting a little old to go to Cancun for Spring Break, or you’re the last of your bloodline and don’t want to see the billion dollar empire you created with your bare hands be taken over by some chump with hair plugs and a fake tan who will no doubt liquidate the business and live fat and happy off its carcass. Well put those doubts to rest friends. If it’s musical chairs, there is always a new game starting. Case in point, on this day in 1969, Tiny Tim married Miss Vicki. If someone as odd as Tiny Tim can find somebody else to vow to love him forever, there’s hope for you. Granted, they got hitched on The Tonight Show, which blatantly screams publicity stunt. Plus they mostly lived apart and “forever” turned out to be 8 years, but he did get married two more times. Which has to be even more encouraging. Tiny Tim found three people to take vows with. I’m not disparaging Tiny Tim, but that dude was strange. Nobody saw him, and was like “He seems normal” except for maybe his three wives. So surely you can find one person. Everybody has at least one person out there who would be willing to put up with his/her shit. Charles Manson just got married. Now if that makes you depressed then you are pessimist, and I can’t help you except to say to refer back to my December 3rd Post about when Harry Stevens got married at 103 years old. If you’re still depressed, then you’re obviously a miserable person. But the good news is you still might not die alone, because there is probably someone out there who wants to be with a miserable person. Everybody has somebody. Charles Manson does and Tiny Tim did. Ain't life grand.

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