DECEMBER 15th - Name it for Your Girl or Guy

On this day in 1966, Audouin Dolfus discovered the tenth moon of Saturn which was named Janus after the Roman God of beginnings and transitions. There is a bit more to the story as Janus has pretty much the same orbit as the 11th moon of Saturn, Epimetheus, so no one is really sure if Dolfus saw Janus or Epimetheus, but I am more concerned about this tradition of naming celestial bodies after Roman and Greek Gods. I get it. It makes sense what with abundant gods present in Greek and Roman mythology and the abundant stars, planets, and moons out there. But I’m just thinking that Audoin, and every astronomer with naming rights, missed an opportunity. Name it Janice, not Janus. That’s right, I’d name it after a girl. Multiple reasons why one might do this. Perhaps Janice is a heavenly creature who makes you the center of her orbit. Plus that’s like at least 10 Get Out of Jail Free cards. Even for big stuff. Forgot the anniversary? Maybe, but you did name a moon after her. Of course it could work just as well in another instance. Perhaps you were minding your own damn business when Janice wandered into your gravitational field and refused to leave, taking it so far as to hover around you constantly and tell you how you’re not as big as Jupiter. Sure you could just change the locks and throw her stuff on the curb, but immortalizing her in infamy is a bit of a stronger statement. And, in the interest of equality, female astronomers out there could just as easily name a heavenly body for a man. That’s the star, Don--he lights up your life with passion and heat. Or that’s the star, Don--he’s a bunch of hot air, who is completely distant and his light is all in the past. The good news for my plan is that there are more celestial bodies floating around out there in the universe, and we have to run out of gods sooner or later. I mean it was 1966 and Dolfus was using the God of Doorways.




(I think my idea would fit these parameters. The Pluto moons were named Kerberos and Styx--wasted opportunities).

This day has been Marked.

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