JULY 11th - LeBrona-Coca-Cola

On this day in 1985, Coca-Cola started selling their old formula Coca-Cola Classic after the debacle that was New Coke. Remember New Coke? Probably. Remember what it tastes like? Probably not. Because it was an awful idea that messed with the most popular beverage in the world. Would McDonalds replace the Big Mac? Should Nike get rid of Air Jordans or only offer them as sandals? Should Crocs find a way to still make comfortable footwear but not have them look like Swiss cheese? Okay Crocs should definitely do that, but those other companies wouldn’t dream of altering their fan-favorite money-makers. Because if ain’t broke, don’t fix it. The decision to switch to New Coke had people rationing bottles of old Coca-Cola in fear that they would run out. So it seemed like a bonehead move. But was it really? Or was it actually a crazy, genius idea that knowingly upset people on purpose in order to have them throw up their arms in jubilation months later and bring sales of Coca-Cola Classic to unprecedented heights? Because, oh yes, the sales of Old Coke skyrocketed. So if the whole New Coke situation was a purposeful decision, then the mass-manipulation of the public was almost Machiavellian. It was also really smart. I try not to be too topical in these little musings, and I’m hesitant to make this particular parallel because ESPN will be on at least a 72 hour loop of LeBron James going back to Cleveland, but can you imagine if LBJ had this whole thing planned out? If he were like, “Look, I’m gonna piss off most of the sports world and make this huge spectacle of leaving my hometown to take my talents to South Beach and go win a few championships to get the media off my back, and then I’m gonna announce I’m coming back home to be a savior to a sports town that’s won bupkis over the last 40 years.” That’s thinking three moves ahead my friends. Some Keyser Soze stuff. Of course maybe the guy who created New Coke is now living in a derelict warehouse surrounded by his old product crying about what have been. And maybe LeBron James just does what his mother tells him to. Or maybe you just end up where you are supposed to. Unless you wind up living under an overpass. Not supposed to wind up there.

This day has been Marked.

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