Marked This Day

On this day in 1806, Lt. Zebulon Pike first spotted a mountain peak on his expedition into Colorado. This peak, of course, became known as Pike’s Peak. And I’m all for naming things after people, and as far as having something named after you, a peak has got to be up there. I’m also a giant fan of alliteration, so bravo for Pike’s Peak. But it does feel a tad bit lazy to me. I mean the guy’s name was Zebulon. Zebulon. How cool of a name is that? How do you not use that? I get that surnames may be more important, but still. Zebulon! Sounds like the name of an alien overload. Yes the alliteration of Pike’s Peak is great. But come on--Zebulon’s Zenith? Am I right? I guess it’s a moot point, and the important thing is that Zebulon’s efforts were memorialized in a just manner. I still think they (the mountain namers) missed an opportunity though. And if there is one thing you don’t want to miss, it’s an opportunity. So next time one comes your way, whether it’s talking to your crush or

On this day, in 1959 Jacques Plante of the Canadiens became the first goalie in the NHL to wear a full facemask. During their game against the Rangers, Plante took a puck to the face. Pretty sure that will never feel good, but this one split his lip. Had to go back in locker room to get stitches and when he came back out, he was wearing a white fiberglass mask he had been using in practice. His coach was not happy because, you know, his coach wasn't the one who had pucks flying at his face constantly. But Plante said he wouldn’t play without the mask. He took some grief. Hockey is a macho sport, you know. Checking. Fighting. Sticks. Ice. Pucks. It ain't exactly checkers. So Plante was made fun on. Mocked. Teased. But you know what tends to make you forget about being teased. Physical pain. Plante had broken his nose four times. Broken his jaw. Cheekbones. And needed about 200 stitches in his head. So. Yeah. Good call on the mask, dude. He wore it the rest of his career. And

On this day in 2013, articles were published around the world about Ukrainian astronomers discovering asteroid 2013 TV135. The asteroid sailed past Earth on September 16th--4.2 million miles away. But it was close enough for the scientists to calculate that there is a 1 in 63,000 chance that asteroid 2013 TV135 will collide with Earth in the year 2032. That’s not an incredibly high chance, (over 99% chance it does not go splat into the world) but it’s still a chance. And it’s a chance based on actual science, instead of Nostradamus or the fact that the Mayan calendar maker got a wee bit lazy after 2012. So it’s a little freaky. Luckily, Michael Bay taught us how to combat it, with the 1998 hit movie Armageddon. Get Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to drill into that bad boy, and we’re all gravy. Because if any movie director is going to save the world, it’s going to be Michael Bay. Boom! Bang! Explosions!    This Day has Been Marked.

On this day in 1892, Joshua Pusey patented an early version of the matchbook which he eventually sold to the Diamond Match Company (after a bit of a legal battle) and took a position as the company’s patent attorney. The matchbook is not a life-altering, world-changing invention, but you’ve probably used it at some point. That’s pretty nifty. Not many people can say they’ve invented something that a great majority of people have used since its inception. And the truth is we probably don’t know who invented many of the things we do use. Do you know who invented the modern fingernail clipper? Or the shoe horn? Or, shit, who gets credit for toilet paper? There should at least be an Unknown Inventor’s Day, in which we celebrate all of the unknown and underappreciated geniuses whom have made everyday life just a little bit easier. Sure, matches were around before the matchbook, but the book is quite a convenient way to carry them around. And matchbooks allow your local watering hole a c

On this day in 1969, Bob Dylan returned to his hometown of Hibbing, Minnesota to attend the 10-year reunion of Hibbing High’s Class of 1959. Disregarding for a moment the authenticity behind the legend and lore of whether Robert Allen Zimmerman was an outcast in high school, how freaking cool must it have been to walk back into that joint 10 years later as one of the biggest stars in rock n' roll? Even if he didn’t really enjoy the reunion, even if he felt crowded by people who used to pick on him, or if it brought back bad memories, or if that girl he had a crush didn’t show up, or whatever the case may be--he still had to feel like he was the cock of the walk, yes? No doubt there were probably people holding on to their notions of high school Bob. Calling him Robert. Zim. Zimmy. Mumbling how he still couldn’t catch a football. But a large part of him had to feel like, “get a load of me.”  I’m freaking Bob Dylan. Hanging with Joan Baez, The Band, Johnny Cash. Bob Freaking Dy

On this day in 1671, Thomas Blood was pinched trying to poach the Crown Jewels of England from London Tower. Captain Blood, as he was known, dressed up as a priest and was able to force his way into the Jewel House. Things went a little south, and Blood flattened the crown with a mallet and tried to run off with it. Didn’t quite work out. Blood and his accomplices were brought in front of Charles II. Now you’d think Charles would be all off with their heads. But Charles was a different kind of cat. He was more like that took some guts son--so I’m gonna restore the lands you lost in the war, and give you an annual pension. Plus Captain Blood became a damn celebrity. I wouldn’t necessarily advocate trying to pull off a high stakes heist by dressing up like a priest, but Captain Blood does demonstrate that fortune favors the bold. Sometimes you just gotta take a risk. Even if it doesn’t work out for you, you might just catch the eye of a King who is dope as bacon, and rewards your audacit